Feb to March

It’s happening again, how I rarely spend time writing and once I find myself time to do it, its a million stories in one piece.

It’s not just about writing. You see, everytime I got a night job, besides me being nocturnal, I find less and less time with some things that really matter. There goes the mountain of plates and basins of undies waiting to be washed. It’s frustrating because these things need an amount of time to be squeezed in on my weekend routine.

Anyway, February to March turns out to be the most unbelievable months. There are these two things that almost lead my partner and I to breaking up. They really bring out the worst in us and everytime we speak, we never fail to make it sound like profanity.

It made us learn one thing, we need to set aside our differences and allow ourselves to learn from each other.

On a brighter side, this is the highlight of my Valentine:

taken at Bukidnon, Asia's longest zipline

And I’m beginning to like my new job.

One more thing, I’m thankful of not having a cable, because news freaks me out, the calamities and all. They’re like the presidential candidates for 2010, they gives me goosebumps!

Lastly, I want to hear from you in the meantime! (and this post is from kat)

If you want to be anonymous, that’s perfectly fine. Here are the things I want to know about you as of now (and following are my answers):

1. What’s your all-time favorite color? And then your sometimes favorite color.

2. What are your top five favorite foods?

3. Let’s say every person has an Emergency Bag in his/her room, the one bag that s/he will grab in case of fire, earthquake, flood, or any emergency. This bag is especially readied for the purpose of supporting its owner in case s/he will need to camp out for days (Let’s say there are no houses left okay? Total devastation). What would be the contents of yours? Give me ten items at the most. Off the top of your head, don’t think too much!

********************
1. This question actually brings me to confusion because my favorite color depends on my mood. But everytime I was asked, I answered periwinkle for the heck of answering and since the question requires me two answers, the second will be lavender.

2. Spaghetti and Meatballs, Buffalo Wings of Don Henrico’s, Buttered Chicken of A.venue, KFC, Baked Fish at Quattro.

3. Underwear, cellphone, cellphone charger, camera, rechargeable batteries, deodorant, wallet, my folder where important documents are filed like diplomas, birth certificate etc, cigarette and lighter.

Please..

Playlist

Sobrang badtrip araw na'to..sobrang badtrip that I can't write about it.
Songs, these songs calmed me down..

Let Me In - Mike Francis
Friends - Mike Francis
Lovely Day - Mike Francis
Over and Over Again - Tim McGraw and Nelly
Ain't It Over Til Its Over - Lenny Kravitz
The Way Of The Plann - Mastaplann

Dear Comelec

from my tumblr

The Article

I have read somewhere that when you reach you’re 20’s, it is the period where people are busy defining themselves. It is a crucial stage where each of us is busy finding who we really are, whether we’re aware of it or not.

I can’t find the article but based on what she said, her 20’s was a total mess. Whose wasn’t? Mine was definitely a fiasco!

My 20’s started with a bang. I happened to find myself a job at a fastfood restaurant while waiting for my diploma. I quit my job right after I graduated from college and I kept changing jobs ever since. My career path was obviously headed nowhere.

My love life was no exception. I was brought up to maturity until my mid 20’s by a live-in partner and I stupidly messed up. My late 20’s consisted of changing partner after partner ever since. The pattern was simply the same.

My wealth was insufficient. I drained my savings account during the runaway event of my life and my wallet was exhausted. The money was being circulated out of my pocket bill after bill ever since.

My health smacked me big time. I was a rocker during my teenage life. There aren’t any pleasures I haven’t tasted. I develop this and that, and so I took pill after pill ever since.

My relationship with my family was a tough one. I ran away every time I did something wrong and was so afraid to face the consequences. I never fail to disappoint them. It was disappointment after disappointment ever since.

My friends were like flowers that were freshly picked in the wild. They wither after three days. Even though you try to preserve them in a jar of water, the petals slowly fall one by one, petal after petal.

To top it all, physical appearance doesn’t flatter me anymore. I used to be a cheer dancer and who will believe it now? The skirts, the midriffs, the tubes and all those skimpy clothes are long dead and gone. Even the henna and the belly button ring were absurd. I feel hopelessness every time I looked in the mirror. It was pound after pound ever since.

This is how I characterize myself during my 20’s.

In a few months, I will be 30. I know it’s a little early to write this down because at some point I still have time to end it with dignity. The reason why I’m pushing this is because the writer from that article wrote that people who reached their 30’s already know what they can and cannot change. At this point, I know them already.

I cannot change the fact that I am a graduate. I include this because it is really hard to finish school. Whether the pop quiz, the thesis, the peer pressure or the problem I encounter to pay for my tuition. It matters. It is significant. It is from my diploma I get the strength every time I was being interviewed job after job. I cannot change the fact that I am job-hopper. I don’t want opportunities. I don’t want change. What I want is better opportunities. I want a better change.

I include my educational background because I have a strong belief that I can be whatever I wanted to be if I set my mind into it.

In the love aspect, I cannot change the fact that I messed up with Jack. But looking for Jack in the people I had committed myself to, that I can change.

I cannot change the fact I have this strong attraction with the same sex. At this point in my life, I have accepted who I really am.

For the wealth part, I can change my spending habits. I can refrain myself from buying unnecessary stuffs and stick with what is really essential. I can find a way to invest on things and live a simpler life.

I can change my lifestyle. I can choose healthier foods but I cannot deprive myself to starvation. Crash diet is not my thing and chocolates are still my favorites. I can still eat them but in small amounts. I cannot change the feeling of displeasure with regards to gym but I can have my own exercise routine like walking or biking or similar activities that will not bore me.

I can change the unpleasant relationship I had with my family. I will face my fear and never runaway but I cannot change the way I stood with my beliefs. I am proud of that.

I can change the way I treat my friends. I will not make the same mistake of raining them with my problems. I will not inject them of “me-issues” to every conversation. This time, I’ve learned to be the listener, the giver, of me being a real friend.

It was weeks ago when I read this article from PDI. It was Celine Lopez who inspired me to look at myself one more time. Whatever happens in my 30’s I know I will survive for I can’t wait to be in my 40’s where people like you and me don’t give a crap.