I had an aversion for Ilocanos. I can say it in different words synonymously. I can say I dislike them, abhor, despise, detest or dread them because, again, I loathed them. How can I hate them this much? Probably because I feel that I was brutally surrounded by Ilocanos who played a major role in my life.
I was brought up by my grandfather who was in fact a pure blooded Ilocano. He was tall, dark and really strong. His voice was deep and his words were unbreakable. He was the top-notcher for the board exams in his batch and served as a US Navy for many years. He was conservative, sobrang kuripot and his kastigo for a child was ruthless. Growing up with him made me feel different kind of injustices.
I remember his punishments were traumatizing and his words were brutal. There were a series of spanking and he always locked me alone inside the room until it gets dark, which in a later years made me become claustrophobic.
In November 1989, my grandparents and I visited dead relatives at Manila Memorial. On the way home, I was so thirsty and I begged my lolo to stop the car to buy me something to drink. The typical Ilocano that he is, he was being kuripot at that time. It made my mouth so dry, I almost died from dehydration that day.
One Christmas, my cousins stood in line because my grandfather was giving them aguinaldo. I fell in line as well. By the time he saw me, he told me to step away. He said he would not give me any aguinaldo because I’m eating at his table and living under his roof already.
There are a lot of things that should be forgotten and I actually survived for how many years because of my grandmother who became my kanlungan. That’s the home I actually referred to that I ran away from.
How did I end up with my Ilocano lolo anyway? It’s because my half-Ilocano father was away, busy earning money abroad while my bored teenage mom was swept away by a pure-Ilocano man.
For years I disliked this Ilocano man. He was irresponsible and tore my family apart. While my father, a half-Ilocano man was as brutal as his father when it comes to punishments. If the pure Ilocano guy lost his temper at me because of my rudeness everytime I saw him, the half-Ilocano man can make my mouth bleed through his spanking.
So I met a lot of people through the years. I met an Ilocana neighbor girl on the street and everytime we had an argument, we slapped each other on the face and pull each other’s hair.
It didn’t stop there. The heartthrob on our street was swept away by a heartthrob Ilocana girl who was by the later years I found out is the cousin of the pure Ilocano man. I hated Ilocanos so much that I even blamed the ¼ Ilocano blood that I have for being dark-skinned.
So here’s the story. I fell in love last year, 25th of October 2007. The girl was a lawyer and yeah, kunatsing. I later found out that she’s a pure Ilocana and it’s too late for me. Even her Ilocano family displayed rudeness to me. As usual, there were numerous things I can hate about her. The way she makes kuripot on our dates that sometimes leads me to hunger. My mom actually knows if I’ve been on a date with her because I eat hungrily when I get home. She will say, “Kasama mo si attorney noh?”. She’s more into cheap thrills to the extent of being so miserly and it really makes me cry. I sometimes feel dizzy because even if it’s hot, she will not let me use the aircon in her car because she’s making tipid with the gas. Living with her means experiencing tipid to the max from her paulit-ulit clothes down to the 10 times recycled cooking oil.
So why do I let myself suffer? The reason is simple. Love. In spite of everything, this feeling stands out. My Ilocano grandfather and I became closer in his last few years. I remember one time when I was so angry with him I told him that when he grows old I will not take care of him. But I did. I lovingly still did. I had routines of combing his hair, changing his diapers and cooking his food. That one night he lightly kissed me on my cheek, even without a word, everything he did to me was forgiven.
The half-Ilocano man who is my father was understood. To the most hurtful day of my life, he was there. At that very moment, I really felt he was my father.
The pure Ilocano man was remorseful. To his dying days, I forgave him. It might be hard for me supporting the family he left behind, but I became closer to my mom, my 2 half brothers and my half sister who were all half Ilocanos.
I thanked God for the Ilocana girl who was my neighbor. She became my best friend, my eyes and my strength.
I feel blessed with the lawyer girl I fell in love with. Even if I’m the big Asyang Aksaya and Juan Tamad for the past three months, she still supported me. She made me see the wonders of Ilocos - the museums and old houses of Vigan. She made me taste the wonder of Ilocos from bagnet, Vigan Longganisa, dinengdeng, empanadas at the plaza, Ilocos vinegar and Basi wine. The sweetest thing this Ilocana did for me is to tell me stories for the whole duration of a six-hour trip so that I would not feel dizzy from motion sickness.
Sometimes she surprises me. There are a lot of things she will do for you despite of being kuripot. She can be so romantic - dating me for the whole day and going to a spa because household duties for me is hard. She takes me to the charming little shops that sell weird stuffs and knick-knacks. She lets me choose what I want from
The Reading Room that was owned by
Sandy, the fortune teller, and I pick an odd green stuffed toy named “Maleigna” because I have a huge collection of exotic dolls. I finally completed my collection of VC Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic series ‘because I found a copy of “Seeds of Yesterday” from an antique shop/booksale. She wined and dined me at Bellini’s and I had to ask myself again and again, “totoo ba ito?” (Sinampal ko na ang sarili ko, pero totoo!)
So there, I like Ilocanos. I can say it in different words synonymously. I can say I highly prize, delight in, and cherish them because, again, I am fond of them. How can I treasure them this much? Probably because I feel that I was surrounded by unique love of Ilocanos who in fact played a major role in my life.
I dedicate this photo to Kanlungan Center Foundation Inc.
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