The Business Letter

A couple of days ago, my new supervisor handed me a white envelope. It was weird receiving a letter from a company especially if the letter was addressed to me. I opened the parcel, ripping it on its side. It was a business letter alright - in two pages. The content was formal. It followed the business writing that I learned when I was in high school. I know I should not talk about the grammar or the tenses of how it was written; I am writing this piece because the letter tells me where I am now and how the past six months have gone by.

The letter states that I am now a regular employee. For the first time in my 29 years, I have become a regular employee. The formal dressing, the dizzying bus trips, the tensed feeling of long interviews, the night schedules, the memorization of hundreds of papers, the proper diction, the exam harassments, the tight compliance with company policies, the stressful conversations with the clients and the pressure of hitting my metrics - these are the things that occupied my hyper time. The remaining time and energy left are for sleeping. I became a lousy homemaker, best friend, sister and daughter. Opening this white envelope reveals a lot of thought and issues that I’ve been ignoring for the last six months. As the letter ended, I think about some things that put to an end to an almost perfect job.

It’s the friendship that matters and how I can grow and move inside the company. They say people in your lives come and go. I never realize how fast it will be in this kind of industry.

I made friends during my training days. There were seven of us originally. We ate, we laughed, we smoked, we dreamt and texted each other. As we were distributed to different teams, the text messages became fewer, and soon enough most of them resigned and the only three of us were left. I made friends again with the new team. The closest friend I had was Joanna. We were inseparable until one day she was gone. I was so sad and lonely that I never sit at the last post we spent together. The spam messages were gone and soon enough the work is work and was never fun at all. Two months after, my supervisor sent a goodbye letter. The team was again, distributed to different teams. I was now under this supervisor who is kind of homophobic. I was absent for two days because my partner was very sick. He told me it was not valid because she was not to be considered as an immediate family member. Nakakabadtrip kasi sabi nila call center jobs are for LGBT’s because they don’t discriminate. Technically, she was supposed to be considered as an immediate family member because we were living together as what other married couples do. Kasalan ko ba kung walang legal documents? As I think about it, that supervisor is the one who is homophobic not the company. He is the one to decide about this case and even if I called earlier I was tagged as NCNS (Read as AWOL).

As I am folding back the business letter, putting it inside the white envelope again, I think about what I am going to do if I decided to resign because this is the thing, it is easier to leave because you have an option to stay.

In My Life (Movie)

This is not another movie review instead, it is a recommendation and I couldn't say more.

Ondoy

It is Sunday, 27th of September 2009 and this is not an ordinary weekend. It is my last rest day and It was supposed to be chores day instead I was just sitting at the couch staring into nothingness. God, there is no coffee in the cupboard, no decent food in the ref and no emergency canned goods lying around. The mess of the house and the mountain of laundry are irritating. It was doomsday. It was doomsday and I only have potato chips to survive.

I feel angry and upset and so I watched five lousy movies and get eight hours of sleep. I still feel livid and distress by the time I woke up and I end up sitting at the couch and staring into nothingness again. I cannot make myself do the laundry or sweep the floor for a start or maybe even make an effort of opening the bag of chips. There is something I need to do or feel or something I am waiting to happen. And it does. My cellphone was ringing and as I looked who the caller is, it was my dad. I’m battling with myself if I’m going to answer or not. Why is he calling me? (Answer it.) Did I do something wrong? (Don’t answer it.) Is he asking me to join the family day? (Answer it.) Will he be making arrangements for December to babysit my teenage sister? (Don’t answer it.) God, the flood! Is my family okay?! And so I answered it. It took me awhile to answer it but I did.

Me: Hello?
Pops: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, Okay lang kayo dyan?
Pops: Oo. Where are you?
Me: Bahay. Baha. Two people are dead.
Pops: Somebody texted Jay, nawawala ka daw.
Me: I’m okay.
Pops: Baha pa ba?
Me: I don’t know. I don’t wanna go out.
Pops: San ka ba malapit sa Araneta? Funeraria Paz or Arlinton?
Me: Arlington. Baha pa rin dyan?
Pops: Hindi. Just take care, okay?
Me: I will. Kayo din, bye.
Pops: Bye.

And the phone call made me cry. It’s a five-minute good cry. I’m 29, independent crying lesbian. The cry clears my head and bravely, I booted the laptop, inserted my USB and opened up the Word because now I am ready to take a step inside the time machine and go back to yesterday as I write what happened 26th of September 2009.

The team building was held at my officemate’s covered rooftop. The party’s a blast as we eat and drink our P4,000.00 Sodexo (Team funds in a form of GC provided by the company) away. By 1pm, the party was ended and we were alarmed to see the flood downstairs. Babes, the guy who owned the place told us it was the first time that the flood reached their driveway. Now this is serious. From Instrucion in Espana, I dipped my newest chucks to a knee-high flood. My teammates and I are cruising Manila with umbrellas that are pretty useless as we made an effort crossing the vehicle-less main road with strong waves of flood crushing you back and forth. It was sort of fun since it gives the true meaning of “team building”. We departed at Rotonda. The team left as a team because they have one destination and that is the LRT. I was left alone and my goal is to reach Araneta Ave. and that’s where the horror starts. I folded the useless umbrella and put it inside my already wet bag. I was bathing in the rain, no typhoon rain, with my glasses on. It was a long walk. It’s been an hour before I reached the part where the flood is in my shoulders. It was scary and I sat on the jeepney’s bumper together with other stranded people. The bus was stuck in the middle of the flood, alone and we can see it from afar. It didn’t make it. The flood was deeper on that side and it was half the bus already. That same street was deeper because it already reached the Suzuki’s E. Rodriguez’s branch service bay ceiling. God it reached the ceiling! Flood and fire. People’s houses were shattered and some caught fire. Imagine houses under the flood like Atlantis? A child was drowned and seeing this before your eyes was horrible. Too horrible that it made me stare and gives me nightmares afterwards. I found my way home through begging Philippine Charity Sweepstakes to let me through their gate so I can pass thru the other gate where I lived. I was lucky, seeing Bayani St. was somehow at peace. I reached the third floor panting, packed with heavy clothes, colds, virus and in a disoriented situation. It was not long when I think about the disaster in Istanbul or the red dust in Australia. Now, “Ondoy” hitting the Philippines. How come this is not predicted earlier? Does our government have to do with this?

So there, it took me a five-minute good cry to collect my thoughts again and retell my story to someone who cares. I feel lost for more than 24 hours and I haven’t received any caring words from my family except my bestfriend Ivory up until now. I don’t blame them, probably they where in a state of feeling disoriented too and my girlfriend’s flight was cancelled twice already and was stucked in Bicol and knowing how she will go straight to her family’s house to attend a birthday party after Ondoy’s aftermath didn’t make me feel good at all. Who wouldn’t feel sh*tty?

TV

It’s been a year since I was last updated to current news. Our TV was only good for DVDs and the small (as in literally small) black and white TV/radio made me lose my interest from watching because of the bad signal. I am not familiar with anything that is new except when people around me make it as a topic, or it became a fad or associated with something/someone.

It pains me not to be updated. Nakakabobo and you look dumb infront of other people. You don’t get to share your thoughts, your opinions, your voice.

I am not familiar with Pinoy Henyo and I happen to know it now because it was being played through trainings as an icebreaker and my buddy and her sister joined that show in Eat Bulaga.

The Katrina Halili-Hayden Kho scandal was one of our “how’s-your-day-at-work-honey” dinner topic.

The celebrity hookups, celebrity breakups, the latest commercials that creates an impact, the catchy lines that they get from watching was used to me by my seatmate and the only reaction that I can give is ‘huh?!” like I’ve given her the a face that has a big red question mark splat on my face and she was like “don’t you watch TV” and I go explain to her what I wrote in paragraph 1.


So there, people. I’m dumb regarding current news and I wouldn’t be surprised if I failed the Civil Service Exams.

Last Monday when I was home, Malou aka Sam told me that Cory Aquino was brought to Manila Cathedral and they passed Makati City and stayed there for awhile at Ninoy Aquino’s monument to pray. That answered my question about the unreasonable traffic along Pasong Tamo going to Buendia, There were yellow ribbons on cars, trees and confetti all over the pavement. I just felt sad because that very day I thought I was robbed of a chance of seeing another major event broadcasted on national TV.

The first was the death of Francis M. He’s the Pinoy’s coolest rapper and the inventor of Philippine Flag shirts where he used his influence to bring back patriotism to the Filipino people. I love him because he’s maka-Pinoy and I am maka-Pinoy. Remember his song “Mga Kababayan Ko”? – it appears to be a modern version of El Filibusterismo. Astig ‘di ba? He made an impact through his craft, injecting nationalism in his music for the Filipino people without them realizing it. Ayon nga kay Ivy - huwow!

I was riding on a bus going to work when there’s a segment from Eat Bulaga about him. That’s when I realize he died already and I was 3 days late from the news.




Second was the death of Michael Jackson. The news was in a form of a forwarded text so I was in doubt if it was true. The news was shocking. It left my mind in a haze and it took 24 hours before it finally sunk in. This is the King of Pop you’re talking about! The news was totally ‘Off the Wall’ and all this time I thought he’s ‘Invincible’. He might be ‘Bad’ and ‘Dangerous’ to little boys in some ways but when he sings, it’s enchanting! Every move, every word, every line that he sings is magical. Singing with feelings is magical. Everything that you do that comes from the heart turns out to be magical and that’s what he is.

It might be a ‘Thriller’ for weeks as fans all over the world mourned his death. Even to his last breath, he created a ‘History’.




The latest one is the death of Cory Aquino. I was six when she became the first female President of the Philippines. I was playing at the backyard, dicing fortune plants pretending it was a vegetable. My lola heard the news about the EDSA revolution and she told me that another war is coming and led me to the living room to watch the news on TV. She was so scared that she wanted me to sit right next to her and actually be with her wherever she goes. She thinks that a tora-tora will drop a bomb at her house any minute.

I witnessed everything through our colored Sony TV. The old ones, the youth, the businessmen, the nurses, the doctors, the lawyers, the activists, the politicians, the police, the students, the priests, the nuns, the children. For the first time, it made the world stop because at this very second, no matter what you are, who you are, how much you’re earning is not the basis or the importance of being there. It’s being One with the Filipino people. As they hold each other’s hand to form a human barricade, they created unity. As they fought their way to one goal, discrimination was never an issue. As they chanted their prayers, religious fights were overshadowed, When the soldiers dropped their weapons, they showed love and compassion. Because that day in 1986, even for a day, we became brothers and sisters, and to me that was the time we were in heaven.

Cory Aquino led the people, and yes, she is a woman, she is a Filipino. When she talked, she made it sure that she was heard and that’s what happened at the US Congress. I became a patriot because of her, because of what I saw. This kind of revolution was used by other Asian countries afterwards but with no success. I am proud that I am part of this country and that I witnessed and became part of the history.



So there again, I could say that having a cabled TV is important and I hope you’re reading this Germaine. We need cable TV and the “how’s-your-day-honey” dinner talk is not enough.

I want to point out as well why Filipino people buy CDs of Francis M. and Michael Jackson after they died. Will you also buy EDSA Revolution soundtrack CD just in case?


Since I’m a Filipina and I have Filipino traits let me give you MY lists of my favorite songs from these three events.

In Frances M., his songs made me remember his name.
In Michael Jackson’s, his name made me remember his songs
The important thing was that they left something that will last for a lifetime.

MY LISTS:

Francis M. Lists:

1. Cold Summer Nights
2. Girl Be Mine
3. Kaleidoscope World

Michael Jackson Lists:

1. I Just Can’t Stop Loving You
2. The Girl Is Mine
3. Human Nature
4. Gone To Soon
5. She’s Out Of My Life
6. You Are Not Alone

Cory Aquino and the EDSA Revolution:

1. Magkaisa
2. Bayan Ko

Now and Then

March 12, 2009

I’m on my training now. I find myself alone. I looked like a drab loner with a heavy problem of being an outcast.

My batchmates told me “Magsalita ka naman”
The other one told the others “Gusto nga nya mapunta sa non-voice account eh”

Yeah…Terrific!

I keep on memorizing pages of manuals. By the time I settled myself on the bus, I took out the reviewers and memorize. Never did I study this hard before, not when I was in college, nor in my highschool, not even in my gradeschool.

I remember crying with Jenny Gallegos on the hallway when we were in highschool. We have a periodical test in history and we were cramming ourselves memorizing the exact places of each provinces on the Philippine map. The names of the heroes and the dates they were brutally executed were even harder. Ayaw pumasok sa isip naming dalawa eh kahit nag-essence of chicken na’ko nun pare! Wa eh! Wa-epek! I hate history as much as I hate math. Funny how I can now easily memorize the US map, the airport codes and its cities and have a perfect score. What is the difference between taking the exam now and way back in highschool? Mas matindi siguro ang need of survival ngayon kesa noon kasi ngayon pinaghihirapan ang pera hindi tulad noon hinihingi lang ang pera, hay..