There’s this illness that Germaine was telling me about. It’s what she called headache weather and it hit me yesterday in uncomfortable pain. It was when you’re experiencing hot and humid Sunday morning and later at noon the weather changed giving you cold windy rain that hits your window pane. It was the pressure, she explained. I hated the word pressure in every sense, whether it was used in a sentence or a paragraph. The word can even be used alone. It was always associated with the word stress.
So there, I am so unhappy waking at 4:55 Monday morning where I wasted my whole Sunday off by popping headache pills and sleeping. I did not accomplish anything. I feel that I wasted one day of my human time. I didn’t have the chance to do what was planned which I hated the most. I didn’t get the chance to go home to Makati where both of my parents lived. I didn’t get to see my niece where she’s on a stage na nagingilala. You know how babies are, they grow so fast. I just wanted to be part of everything.
I am tempted to excuse myself from work today but every penny counts nowadays. That’s where my other least favorite word comes in, responsibility.
Anyway, waking up at four in the morning every Monday was how I begin my weekday. I woke up with my dog, Mio. I boiled water for an instant coffee and booted on the laptap for some writing. Then I get bored and watched some shows from the six-inched black and white spare TV while playing some computer games. Then I prepare breakfast while waiting for the manicurist. Then at noon, I will force myself to sleep because I need to go to work in the evening. My dog will wake me up at exactly 6:00 pm whether I like it or not and starting to get ready for work.
In an hour, I find myself driving along Commonwealth Avenue where tragic death is always nearby.
At work, I immediately turn on the computer to log in because that’s where my salary lies. I only have thirty to twenty minutes before I will be tagged as late. The system takes forever to upload.
I will wait for my buddy to log in, then we’ll go down to have a chat and coffee. As soon as we reached our stations, we try to hit the daily quotas up until 6:00 am and occasionally extending some hours.
I will go home experiencing stress again by driving along Commonwealth Avenue where drivers raced with each other like they were in Timezone and people crossing the wide highway as if their lives are worth nothing. These people are either lazy to use the government provided footbridge or as usual, these facilities are just not strategically located.
As soon as I reached home, I will do what was written in paragraph four. It is all routinary. That’s why I wanted to do something different every weekends. I’m not asking for something extreme, but moving and breathing on a different environment with different people, especially people you care about the most makes it worthwhile.
Showing posts with label blabbery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blabbery. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Friday, October 01, 2010
Of Music, Mondays and Adobo
It was the music; the coolness of the voice that blends well with different musical instruments that filled the air this Monday morning. Maybe it was the busted TV, or the spare six-inch TV in black and white, or the nonsense TV shows that made me open the forgotten old dusty radio and put it in a not too soft, not too loud volume.
It was tuned in to 106.7 Dream FM. I hardly recommend anything over the internet since I don’t get paid for the free advertisement, but the music was calming. It made me feel the atmosphere of a Friday night at a high-rise condo; preparing a simple dinner with friends or loved ones, setting the table with flowers and candles and a bottle of champagne or red wine while watching the city lights and traffic on the highway from a floor to ceiling glass window. God, sounds like heaven - how it melts your stress away, how you tend to smile every now and then knowing how relaxed and content you are.
But reality sets in. It’s Monday and I have to go to work later tonight. I am residing at a low-cost condo complex, renting a unit at the second floor with a view of an apricot-colored building similar to ours that can be seen from a window with curtains tied up haphazardly. The atmosphere is occasionally broken by vehicle noises and children coming out of school buses. It was almost noon and the sun’s rays were inching their way into our living room, quite unwelcome because it will surely cause an indoor heat wave again. I have a little dog that messes up the house. He stinks up the house and is bent on “destroying” the furniture.
I’m in the middle of cooking Chicken Adobo - Chinese style for lunch. Like how Joey Herrera described his flatmates’ cooking style, I’m multi-tasking. I am reading a book, playing Burger Rush on the laptop, texting to schedule an appointment with the manicurist, violently commenting every now and then to Germaine about the book she’s reading, smoking and cooking. I just threw in all the ingredients in a pot; the chicken parts I bought from the supermarket, the soy sauce, vinegar, salt, sugar, crushed peppercorn, bay leaf and anise with no exact measurements, all just by instinct.
This is the fun part. I simply cover the pot and forget about the dish altogether. After a long, long while doing other chores and activities, I run back to the pot to check if the chicken has burned. Then I discover that Voila! Chicken Adobo Chinese Style is done to perfection!
Meanwhile, the music was so good it made me drink cheap local red wine straight from the bottle. So what’s your favorite radio station?
It was tuned in to 106.7 Dream FM. I hardly recommend anything over the internet since I don’t get paid for the free advertisement, but the music was calming. It made me feel the atmosphere of a Friday night at a high-rise condo; preparing a simple dinner with friends or loved ones, setting the table with flowers and candles and a bottle of champagne or red wine while watching the city lights and traffic on the highway from a floor to ceiling glass window. God, sounds like heaven - how it melts your stress away, how you tend to smile every now and then knowing how relaxed and content you are.
But reality sets in. It’s Monday and I have to go to work later tonight. I am residing at a low-cost condo complex, renting a unit at the second floor with a view of an apricot-colored building similar to ours that can be seen from a window with curtains tied up haphazardly. The atmosphere is occasionally broken by vehicle noises and children coming out of school buses. It was almost noon and the sun’s rays were inching their way into our living room, quite unwelcome because it will surely cause an indoor heat wave again. I have a little dog that messes up the house. He stinks up the house and is bent on “destroying” the furniture.
I’m in the middle of cooking Chicken Adobo - Chinese style for lunch. Like how Joey Herrera described his flatmates’ cooking style, I’m multi-tasking. I am reading a book, playing Burger Rush on the laptop, texting to schedule an appointment with the manicurist, violently commenting every now and then to Germaine about the book she’s reading, smoking and cooking. I just threw in all the ingredients in a pot; the chicken parts I bought from the supermarket, the soy sauce, vinegar, salt, sugar, crushed peppercorn, bay leaf and anise with no exact measurements, all just by instinct.
This is the fun part. I simply cover the pot and forget about the dish altogether. After a long, long while doing other chores and activities, I run back to the pot to check if the chicken has burned. Then I discover that Voila! Chicken Adobo Chinese Style is done to perfection!
Meanwhile, the music was so good it made me drink cheap local red wine straight from the bottle. So what’s your favorite radio station?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
In Panic
Yesterday we were in panic. Rocky aka Mio, (my dog) almost died. If you’re familiar with Miniature Pinchers, they’re a breed that loves to play. Their favorites are bottles and bottle caps. Mio was no exception, he loves to get empty bottles from under the sink and you’ll be surprised how he could twist the cap using his paws and teeth. He can do this within five minutes. Yesterday, while I was cooking pesto for the first time, Germaine was shrieking with panic. Mio, as usual, went under the sink looking for his toys. What he got was a bottle of bleaching fluid. He actually punctured the bottle causing the chemical to leak. We were so afraid that he ingested enough to make him die. As per instruction from the bleach bottle, we needed to make him drink milk, and that’s what we did. Luckily, he is still alive and kicking today.
Panic is our topic for today. This feeling is what I hated the most because it is associated with fear. On this state, you blab uncontrollably in a high pitch tone and terror was so visible it was contagious. The worst part is you’re thoughts are cloudy, blocked by fear. This is why Germaine and I caused ruckus in the heat of the afternoon where everyone in dhe building where having their siesta. She irritated me with the shrieking manner she relayed the news to me. All she could say was “He will die! He will die! He will die!” The best thing to do in this situation is to stay calm, at least one of us should be. One should think properly and look for a solution. Maybe this is one of the reasons why everyone is advised to stay calm during the state of calamity. The seriousness of panic attack may cause more damage due to mental block.
Here’s the deal. Apparently, I was in panic again. I don’t know how to tell my boss later that I’m resigning. That is part of my big change this year. I want to change my career and that means changing companies as well. I was given a better offer and finally I’ve decided to pass my resignation later. My previous boss wanted a change too. He applied to a different account hoping for a big leap. He was accepted and as parting gift, he transferred me to email team, the position I’m gunning for since day one. He made me promised 100% commitment on this new job. The problem is that the offer from the other company was given later. Now it doesn’t feel good breaking a promise and communicating bad news.
In case he stumbled on this blog, I want to tell him how sorry I am for letting him down. I’m sorry that I didn’t keep my promise and that it took days for me to consider my options. I am grateful for every thing that he has done and here’s wishing both of us better careers.
Anyway, I’m still in the process of calming myself down. I believe I’m in a tense state already because I can’t think straight and this blog is a ramble. My stomach is churning and the coffee and cigarette are not helping at all.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Ramblings
Last night, I watched “Great Expectations” with Germaine. It’s a “not feel good” movie. It’s more of “I-wish-it-turns-out-like-this” sort of film. I definitely brought it to my sleep.
Anyway, I guess I’m not in the mood for writing. My thoughts are running unsystematically so I’ll note down everything that comes out of my mind.
So what’s new?
First, I bought cosmopolitan diary as a replacement for the laptop. (very pathetic)
Second, I’m taking considerations for the job options.
Third, I got to see my mom and siblings and it really made my day.
Fourth, I was trying to make a travel and food blog which is separate to this blog.
Fifth, I have several attempts of cleaning the house.
Sixth, I’m having trouble managing tumblr.
Seventh, unlike the others, facebook bores me.
Eight, It made me wonder why it’s cold when it’s already summer.
Ninth, I need to arrange my finances wisely like Kepi and my brother Jay.
Tenth, I can’t help myself consuming a lot of paper towels.
Eleventh, “Desperate Housewives” is good except to the part where Teri Hatcher insulted the Filipino doctors.
Twelfth, I can’t seem to finish reading Stephenie Meyer’s “New Moon”.
Thirteenth, I was looking for a healthier recipe.
Fourteenth, Every year we buy water heater.
Fifteenth, getting job requirements are time consuming and costly.
Sixteenth, Full House (Korean version) gives me eyestrain.
Anyway, I guess I’m not in the mood for writing. My thoughts are running unsystematically so I’ll note down everything that comes out of my mind.
So what’s new?
First, I bought cosmopolitan diary as a replacement for the laptop. (very pathetic)
Second, I’m taking considerations for the job options.
Third, I got to see my mom and siblings and it really made my day.
Fourth, I was trying to make a travel and food blog which is separate to this blog.
Fifth, I have several attempts of cleaning the house.
Sixth, I’m having trouble managing tumblr.
Seventh, unlike the others, facebook bores me.
Eight, It made me wonder why it’s cold when it’s already summer.
Ninth, I need to arrange my finances wisely like Kepi and my brother Jay.
Tenth, I can’t help myself consuming a lot of paper towels.
Eleventh, “Desperate Housewives” is good except to the part where Teri Hatcher insulted the Filipino doctors.
Twelfth, I can’t seem to finish reading Stephenie Meyer’s “New Moon”.
Thirteenth, I was looking for a healthier recipe.
Fourteenth, Every year we buy water heater.
Fifteenth, getting job requirements are time consuming and costly.
Sixteenth, Full House (Korean version) gives me eyestrain.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Most Indirect Blog Entry That I Ever Wrote
January feels like Christmas! I feel that I was on a long holiday vacation from a different planet and I just got back from earth unwrapping each parcels under the withered Christmas tree. Most of the things that needs to be done and what should be done was over and done with. I am now enjoying the presents, the outcome, the results.
Have you ever felt worthless sometimes in your life? Have you ever felt bad about some situation? It is so bad that there’s no other option or even solution to find your way out and all you need to do is wait on what will happen next hopefully things will be okay at the end.
Then came after the dry season was rain. Options and choices are outpouring. All I need to do is choose and whichever I want will be a positive outcome. I am excited that it made me too anxious with each passing seconds.
I was on the parched state for far too long and I was glad I’m almost on the top right now. I know, what I’m writing right now was too indirect and I might lose connection here but what I’m trying to say is that this is my last chance to establish who I really am. I am turning thirty this year and as what others say, people in their 30’s were already established. I should at least set my foot on the ground and raise my forehead high six months from now.
P.S.
A lot of things will change but some of it will remain. I will still be a nicotine and caffeine junkie.
Have you ever felt worthless sometimes in your life? Have you ever felt bad about some situation? It is so bad that there’s no other option or even solution to find your way out and all you need to do is wait on what will happen next hopefully things will be okay at the end.
Then came after the dry season was rain. Options and choices are outpouring. All I need to do is choose and whichever I want will be a positive outcome. I am excited that it made me too anxious with each passing seconds.
I was on the parched state for far too long and I was glad I’m almost on the top right now. I know, what I’m writing right now was too indirect and I might lose connection here but what I’m trying to say is that this is my last chance to establish who I really am. I am turning thirty this year and as what others say, people in their 30’s were already established. I should at least set my foot on the ground and raise my forehead high six months from now.
P.S.
A lot of things will change but some of it will remain. I will still be a nicotine and caffeine junkie.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Cab, The Call Center Industry and the White Piece of Paper
Ten minutes ago, I was in the middle of deciding whether I go to sleep or writing a blog piece. I can see that you finally found out what I’ve decided to do, I am going to consume more electricity by switching on the lights, turning on the water heater to make myself a cup of coffee, turning on the electric fan and booting up the laptop. I just had this horrible thought that if I sleep, I might wake up in the evening and the beautiful day will just gone by. This is one of the things that we’re being robbed off by the call center companies - a long “normal sunny day”.
Yesterday was a busy day compared to what was going to happen now. Unlike today, I’m going to worry how the hell I’m going to clean this super duper messy house right after I finished writing. Yesterday was pushing my luck. I applied for a non-voice account.
I submitted resumes the day before through email and was asked for an appearance to two different companies. I turned down the first job offer because the salary was too low and decided to take a cab to reach my second destination. The driver, for the love of God (sorry for the blasphemy) was a chatterbox. How I love silence when riding a cab especially if your mind was in the process of constructing some sensible thoughts. Anyway, the driver started with an icebreaking questions as usual and didn’t get my I-don’t-want-to-talk-right-now answers. Soon enough I gave up my sensible thoughts construction and gave in for a “stranger conversation”. He was a graduate of Banking and Finance and was bored of the banking job and quit. He then pursued a travel agent career to a Korean company and learned different languages. The company closed so he decided to be a cab driver and be a tour guide as a racket. I will not tell you about his biography and how he became a “linguist”, instead I want to share with you some information that he told me during the Metro Manila ride.
There’s this American customer who came to ride on his cab. Imagine his chatter mouth and non-stop questions, he got his customer to talk. The American was an employee from a big company in the US and was deployed here in the Philippines to negotiate their business with a call center company. He was told that his company from the US was willing to give P25,000 as a basic salary for each of the employees but the call center company told them that P15,000 – P18,000 were enough to the Filipino employees. So what’s wrong with this picture? The people who are running the call center industries were selfish and idiots!
I will tell you what is wrong. I have been absent for two weeks already because I keep getting sick. I developed hypertension due to stress from irate callers. Our job is to sound friendly even if the customers are cursing you already. Part of the job is to multi-task. To be able to ignore the shouting curses from the customer’s dirty mouths while you do what has to be done even if they want you to perform a David Copperfield magic fiasco. I developed insomnia due to shifting schedules and I ruined my social life. Lately, I developed laryngitis that might kill me if I will not rest my voice. You see? That’s the reason why I’m looking for a non-voice account and I don’t think that P15,000 – P18,000 is enough motivation for me to work my ass off with the work schedule of 2:00 am – 1:00 pm. Ang cute nila, ‘di ba?
How can you not provide us something that is reasonable? The health benefit doesn’t work at all! Imagine where I could get the money for this lab test that the physician asked me to undergo if the health insurance doesn’t cover everything? You think the salary that you negotiated from them are enough?! Some of us have families to feed and bills to pay! Kalokohan! But we can’t do anything about it, right? It is better than being jobless. Like what the American told the driver, the decision is not with them but in the call center companies. Hay, bwisit!
So he dropped me off to this great building of this great company. I was asked to be seated at the lobby to fill out the information that’s already in my resume. The second page was composed of three essay questions. I was still answering the first question when I was herded to one of the rooms with the other applicants. We were asked to take a 2-hour exam. Only ten questions for the English and the rest are all about mathematics. Even the IQ test is number series. Ang hirap pare! We were given a calculator and I can’t even use it because I don’t know how to compute it. Grabe, it’s a nightmare! I really wanted to have the courage to stand up and tell the moderator that I don’t want to take the test anymore and leave the company premises. Well, the courage didn’t dawn upon me that afternoon but determination does. I just answered the paper ridiculously and leave most of the questions unanswered. I can’t even imagine how the other applicants get to answer the questionare with ties around their neck or blazers on. I am wearing jeans people with my Chucks on and that doesn’t make the exam easier. After the long exam, na-torta talaga utak ko and I do feel mentally violated. I was mentally harassed. I was mentally humiliated. Imagine, what is the answer to C (….) X? I was asked to answer the dotted line and the number of dots is the number of letters of the correct answer. Feel free to leave a comment on this blog entry if you happen to know the answer kasi ang bobo ko. I texted Germaine to pick me up immediately whether I get the chance to get the result or not because I was so convinced that I failed the exam. I don’t know what took Germaine so long but my name was called for the result. If you’re familiar with the call center recruitment procedure, you know that the piece of paper is a piece of failure. I didn’t bother to open the piece of paper. My “oh well’ feeling was nursed by a stick of cigarette. As I sat next to Germaine in her red Alto, I blabbed about the exam and how thirsty and stressed I was. I suddenly felt the appreciation of being employed to the company who took me in ten months ago and I vowed to be a good employee as soon as I resume to work. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I bothered to open the white piece of paper and read.
Dear Mr./Ms. (My name here):
Thank you for your time in applying here at -------.
We are pleased to inform you that you have been short-listed and you are invited to attend an interview scheduled on January 19, 2010 at 3:30 pm.
Please proceed to the reception area and ask the Front Desk Associate to inform Mr. X of your arrival.
Thank you very much and we wish you all the best in you r career.
Sincerely,
The Recruitment Team
I was dumbfounded. Shocked I believe. There’s probably a mixed up on the exam papers or this is what you call a sheer damn luck. Yeah, it was luck alright.
On January 19, 2010, I will be on the same state of confusion again. There will be a self-debate if I will allow myself to be mentally harassed again because from the beginning of this piece I chose an option and resulted an outcome. I am eager to know what will happen for the next ten years resulting to the biggest decision I will take on Tuesday. Life offers a lot of options and I am always willing to grab one.
Yesterday was a busy day compared to what was going to happen now. Unlike today, I’m going to worry how the hell I’m going to clean this super duper messy house right after I finished writing. Yesterday was pushing my luck. I applied for a non-voice account.
I submitted resumes the day before through email and was asked for an appearance to two different companies. I turned down the first job offer because the salary was too low and decided to take a cab to reach my second destination. The driver, for the love of God (sorry for the blasphemy) was a chatterbox. How I love silence when riding a cab especially if your mind was in the process of constructing some sensible thoughts. Anyway, the driver started with an icebreaking questions as usual and didn’t get my I-don’t-want-to-talk-right-now answers. Soon enough I gave up my sensible thoughts construction and gave in for a “stranger conversation”. He was a graduate of Banking and Finance and was bored of the banking job and quit. He then pursued a travel agent career to a Korean company and learned different languages. The company closed so he decided to be a cab driver and be a tour guide as a racket. I will not tell you about his biography and how he became a “linguist”, instead I want to share with you some information that he told me during the Metro Manila ride.
There’s this American customer who came to ride on his cab. Imagine his chatter mouth and non-stop questions, he got his customer to talk. The American was an employee from a big company in the US and was deployed here in the Philippines to negotiate their business with a call center company. He was told that his company from the US was willing to give P25,000 as a basic salary for each of the employees but the call center company told them that P15,000 – P18,000 were enough to the Filipino employees. So what’s wrong with this picture? The people who are running the call center industries were selfish and idiots!
I will tell you what is wrong. I have been absent for two weeks already because I keep getting sick. I developed hypertension due to stress from irate callers. Our job is to sound friendly even if the customers are cursing you already. Part of the job is to multi-task. To be able to ignore the shouting curses from the customer’s dirty mouths while you do what has to be done even if they want you to perform a David Copperfield magic fiasco. I developed insomnia due to shifting schedules and I ruined my social life. Lately, I developed laryngitis that might kill me if I will not rest my voice. You see? That’s the reason why I’m looking for a non-voice account and I don’t think that P15,000 – P18,000 is enough motivation for me to work my ass off with the work schedule of 2:00 am – 1:00 pm. Ang cute nila, ‘di ba?
How can you not provide us something that is reasonable? The health benefit doesn’t work at all! Imagine where I could get the money for this lab test that the physician asked me to undergo if the health insurance doesn’t cover everything? You think the salary that you negotiated from them are enough?! Some of us have families to feed and bills to pay! Kalokohan! But we can’t do anything about it, right? It is better than being jobless. Like what the American told the driver, the decision is not with them but in the call center companies. Hay, bwisit!
So he dropped me off to this great building of this great company. I was asked to be seated at the lobby to fill out the information that’s already in my resume. The second page was composed of three essay questions. I was still answering the first question when I was herded to one of the rooms with the other applicants. We were asked to take a 2-hour exam. Only ten questions for the English and the rest are all about mathematics. Even the IQ test is number series. Ang hirap pare! We were given a calculator and I can’t even use it because I don’t know how to compute it. Grabe, it’s a nightmare! I really wanted to have the courage to stand up and tell the moderator that I don’t want to take the test anymore and leave the company premises. Well, the courage didn’t dawn upon me that afternoon but determination does. I just answered the paper ridiculously and leave most of the questions unanswered. I can’t even imagine how the other applicants get to answer the questionare with ties around their neck or blazers on. I am wearing jeans people with my Chucks on and that doesn’t make the exam easier. After the long exam, na-torta talaga utak ko and I do feel mentally violated. I was mentally harassed. I was mentally humiliated. Imagine, what is the answer to C (….) X? I was asked to answer the dotted line and the number of dots is the number of letters of the correct answer. Feel free to leave a comment on this blog entry if you happen to know the answer kasi ang bobo ko. I texted Germaine to pick me up immediately whether I get the chance to get the result or not because I was so convinced that I failed the exam. I don’t know what took Germaine so long but my name was called for the result. If you’re familiar with the call center recruitment procedure, you know that the piece of paper is a piece of failure. I didn’t bother to open the piece of paper. My “oh well’ feeling was nursed by a stick of cigarette. As I sat next to Germaine in her red Alto, I blabbed about the exam and how thirsty and stressed I was. I suddenly felt the appreciation of being employed to the company who took me in ten months ago and I vowed to be a good employee as soon as I resume to work. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I bothered to open the white piece of paper and read.
Dear Mr./Ms. (My name here):
Thank you for your time in applying here at -------.
We are pleased to inform you that you have been short-listed and you are invited to attend an interview scheduled on January 19, 2010 at 3:30 pm.
Please proceed to the reception area and ask the Front Desk Associate to inform Mr. X of your arrival.
Thank you very much and we wish you all the best in you r career.
Sincerely,
The Recruitment Team
I was dumbfounded. Shocked I believe. There’s probably a mixed up on the exam papers or this is what you call a sheer damn luck. Yeah, it was luck alright.
On January 19, 2010, I will be on the same state of confusion again. There will be a self-debate if I will allow myself to be mentally harassed again because from the beginning of this piece I chose an option and resulted an outcome. I am eager to know what will happen for the next ten years resulting to the biggest decision I will take on Tuesday. Life offers a lot of options and I am always willing to grab one.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Random Thoughts
Here are my “issues” at present:
1. Why is that every time I clean the house it goes back to the way it was – messy and dirty?
2. Why does the kitchen sink have endless dirty plates?
3. Why 2 small dogs meant bigger responsibilities?
4. Why did we buy a sofa that cannot be washed?
5. Why do we have electrical problems?
6. Why do we have water pipe problems?
7. Why don’t we have cable TV?
8. Why don’t we have a decent laptop with internet connection?
9. Why does my partner irritate me from time to time regarding housework?
10. Why do we always talk about her plans of changing work?
11. Why do I feel underpaid?
12. Why am I earning little when I actually need so much?
13. Why am I not happy with work?
14. Why does work make me sick?
15. Why don’t I have time with my family and friends?
16. Why can’t I stretch my salary?
17. Why can’t I finish reading a book?
18. Why can’t I write anymore?
19. Why do I feel deprived of having luxury time?
20. Why, WHy, WHY?
1. Why is that every time I clean the house it goes back to the way it was – messy and dirty?
2. Why does the kitchen sink have endless dirty plates?
3. Why 2 small dogs meant bigger responsibilities?
4. Why did we buy a sofa that cannot be washed?
5. Why do we have electrical problems?
6. Why do we have water pipe problems?
7. Why don’t we have cable TV?
8. Why don’t we have a decent laptop with internet connection?
9. Why does my partner irritate me from time to time regarding housework?
10. Why do we always talk about her plans of changing work?
11. Why do I feel underpaid?
12. Why am I earning little when I actually need so much?
13. Why am I not happy with work?
14. Why does work make me sick?
15. Why don’t I have time with my family and friends?
16. Why can’t I stretch my salary?
17. Why can’t I finish reading a book?
18. Why can’t I write anymore?
19. Why do I feel deprived of having luxury time?
20. Why, WHy, WHY?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Uwi
Hey, I am starting to visit home again. I am brewing my coffee, hugging our family dog and yeah, eating Malou aka Sam's home-cooked meals again. I am somewhat present during family day again and I'm loving every bit of it - whether I'm taking/stealing things from them nyahahaha.
I'm itching to take a leave just to seriously post the compiled articles I wrote during the last four months - ganon katindi - but since money makes the world go round, it seems like I don't have any choice.
I am currently crazy about kid's stuffs again. The cartoons, the sweets, the pinks and yellows kind of stuffs..you see, I'm stressed about work and earning money and paying the bills and the responsibility of having two dogs at the house, it's making me ill - the lines on my forehead are starting to show and I am smelling the age of thirty. I think it's awful. I believe that I should still keep the child in me, don't you think?
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
from The Little Prince
I'm itching to take a leave just to seriously post the compiled articles I wrote during the last four months - ganon katindi - but since money makes the world go round, it seems like I don't have any choice.
I am currently crazy about kid's stuffs again. The cartoons, the sweets, the pinks and yellows kind of stuffs..you see, I'm stressed about work and earning money and paying the bills and the responsibility of having two dogs at the house, it's making me ill - the lines on my forehead are starting to show and I am smelling the age of thirty. I think it's awful. I believe that I should still keep the child in me, don't you think?
All grown-ups were children first. (But few remember it).
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
from The Little Prince
Saturday, August 15, 2009
TV
It’s been a year since I was last updated to current news. Our TV was only good for DVDs and the small (as in literally small) black and white TV/radio made me lose my interest from watching because of the bad signal. I am not familiar with anything that is new except when people around me make it as a topic, or it became a fad or associated with something/someone.
It pains me not to be updated. Nakakabobo and you look dumb infront of other people. You don’t get to share your thoughts, your opinions, your voice.
I am not familiar with Pinoy Henyo and I happen to know it now because it was being played through trainings as an icebreaker and my buddy and her sister joined that show in Eat Bulaga.
The Katrina Halili-Hayden Kho scandal was one of our “how’s-your-day-at-work-honey” dinner topic.
The celebrity hookups, celebrity breakups, the latest commercials that creates an impact, the catchy lines that they get from watching was used to me by my seatmate and the only reaction that I can give is ‘huh?!” like I’ve given her the a face that has a big red question mark splat on my face and she was like “don’t you watch TV” and I go explain to her what I wrote in paragraph 1.
So there, people. I’m dumb regarding current news and I wouldn’t be surprised if I failed the Civil Service Exams.
Last Monday when I was home, Malou aka Sam told me that Cory Aquino was brought to Manila Cathedral and they passed Makati City and stayed there for awhile at Ninoy Aquino’s monument to pray. That answered my question about the unreasonable traffic along Pasong Tamo going to Buendia, There were yellow ribbons on cars, trees and confetti all over the pavement. I just felt sad because that very day I thought I was robbed of a chance of seeing another major event broadcasted on national TV.
The first was the death of Francis M. He’s the Pinoy’s coolest rapper and the inventor of Philippine Flag shirts where he used his influence to bring back patriotism to the Filipino people. I love him because he’s maka-Pinoy and I am maka-Pinoy. Remember his song “Mga Kababayan Ko”? – it appears to be a modern version of El Filibusterismo. Astig ‘di ba? He made an impact through his craft, injecting nationalism in his music for the Filipino people without them realizing it. Ayon nga kay Ivy - huwow!
I was riding on a bus going to work when there’s a segment from Eat Bulaga about him. That’s when I realize he died already and I was 3 days late from the news.
Second was the death of Michael Jackson. The news was in a form of a forwarded text so I was in doubt if it was true. The news was shocking. It left my mind in a haze and it took 24 hours before it finally sunk in. This is the King of Pop you’re talking about! The news was totally ‘Off the Wall’ and all this time I thought he’s ‘Invincible’. He might be ‘Bad’ and ‘Dangerous’ to little boys in some ways but when he sings, it’s enchanting! Every move, every word, every line that he sings is magical. Singing with feelings is magical. Everything that you do that comes from the heart turns out to be magical and that’s what he is.
It might be a ‘Thriller’ for weeks as fans all over the world mourned his death. Even to his last breath, he created a ‘History’.
The latest one is the death of Cory Aquino. I was six when she became the first female President of the Philippines. I was playing at the backyard, dicing fortune plants pretending it was a vegetable. My lola heard the news about the EDSA revolution and she told me that another war is coming and led me to the living room to watch the news on TV. She was so scared that she wanted me to sit right next to her and actually be with her wherever she goes. She thinks that a tora-tora will drop a bomb at her house any minute.
I witnessed everything through our colored Sony TV. The old ones, the youth, the businessmen, the nurses, the doctors, the lawyers, the activists, the politicians, the police, the students, the priests, the nuns, the children. For the first time, it made the world stop because at this very second, no matter what you are, who you are, how much you’re earning is not the basis or the importance of being there. It’s being One with the Filipino people. As they hold each other’s hand to form a human barricade, they created unity. As they fought their way to one goal, discrimination was never an issue. As they chanted their prayers, religious fights were overshadowed, When the soldiers dropped their weapons, they showed love and compassion. Because that day in 1986, even for a day, we became brothers and sisters, and to me that was the time we were in heaven.
Cory Aquino led the people, and yes, she is a woman, she is a Filipino. When she talked, she made it sure that she was heard and that’s what happened at the US Congress. I became a patriot because of her, because of what I saw. This kind of revolution was used by other Asian countries afterwards but with no success. I am proud that I am part of this country and that I witnessed and became part of the history.
So there again, I could say that having a cabled TV is important and I hope you’re reading this Germaine. We need cable TV and the “how’s-your-day-honey” dinner talk is not enough.
I want to point out as well why Filipino people buy CDs of Francis M. and Michael Jackson after they died. Will you also buy EDSA Revolution soundtrack CD just in case?
Since I’m a Filipina and I have Filipino traits let me give you MY lists of my favorite songs from these three events.
In Frances M., his songs made me remember his name.
In Michael Jackson’s, his name made me remember his songs
The important thing was that they left something that will last for a lifetime.
MY LISTS:
Francis M. Lists:
1. Cold Summer Nights
2. Girl Be Mine
3. Kaleidoscope World
Michael Jackson Lists:
1. I Just Can’t Stop Loving You
2. The Girl Is Mine
3. Human Nature
4. Gone To Soon
5. She’s Out Of My Life
6. You Are Not Alone
Cory Aquino and the EDSA Revolution:
1. Magkaisa
2. Bayan Ko
It pains me not to be updated. Nakakabobo and you look dumb infront of other people. You don’t get to share your thoughts, your opinions, your voice.
I am not familiar with Pinoy Henyo and I happen to know it now because it was being played through trainings as an icebreaker and my buddy and her sister joined that show in Eat Bulaga.
The Katrina Halili-Hayden Kho scandal was one of our “how’s-your-day-at-work-honey” dinner topic.
The celebrity hookups, celebrity breakups, the latest commercials that creates an impact, the catchy lines that they get from watching was used to me by my seatmate and the only reaction that I can give is ‘huh?!” like I’ve given her the a face that has a big red question mark splat on my face and she was like “don’t you watch TV” and I go explain to her what I wrote in paragraph 1.
So there, people. I’m dumb regarding current news and I wouldn’t be surprised if I failed the Civil Service Exams.
Last Monday when I was home, Malou aka Sam told me that Cory Aquino was brought to Manila Cathedral and they passed Makati City and stayed there for awhile at Ninoy Aquino’s monument to pray. That answered my question about the unreasonable traffic along Pasong Tamo going to Buendia, There were yellow ribbons on cars, trees and confetti all over the pavement. I just felt sad because that very day I thought I was robbed of a chance of seeing another major event broadcasted on national TV.
The first was the death of Francis M. He’s the Pinoy’s coolest rapper and the inventor of Philippine Flag shirts where he used his influence to bring back patriotism to the Filipino people. I love him because he’s maka-Pinoy and I am maka-Pinoy. Remember his song “Mga Kababayan Ko”? – it appears to be a modern version of El Filibusterismo. Astig ‘di ba? He made an impact through his craft, injecting nationalism in his music for the Filipino people without them realizing it. Ayon nga kay Ivy - huwow!
I was riding on a bus going to work when there’s a segment from Eat Bulaga about him. That’s when I realize he died already and I was 3 days late from the news.
Second was the death of Michael Jackson. The news was in a form of a forwarded text so I was in doubt if it was true. The news was shocking. It left my mind in a haze and it took 24 hours before it finally sunk in. This is the King of Pop you’re talking about! The news was totally ‘Off the Wall’ and all this time I thought he’s ‘Invincible’. He might be ‘Bad’ and ‘Dangerous’ to little boys in some ways but when he sings, it’s enchanting! Every move, every word, every line that he sings is magical. Singing with feelings is magical. Everything that you do that comes from the heart turns out to be magical and that’s what he is.
It might be a ‘Thriller’ for weeks as fans all over the world mourned his death. Even to his last breath, he created a ‘History’.
The latest one is the death of Cory Aquino. I was six when she became the first female President of the Philippines. I was playing at the backyard, dicing fortune plants pretending it was a vegetable. My lola heard the news about the EDSA revolution and she told me that another war is coming and led me to the living room to watch the news on TV. She was so scared that she wanted me to sit right next to her and actually be with her wherever she goes. She thinks that a tora-tora will drop a bomb at her house any minute.
I witnessed everything through our colored Sony TV. The old ones, the youth, the businessmen, the nurses, the doctors, the lawyers, the activists, the politicians, the police, the students, the priests, the nuns, the children. For the first time, it made the world stop because at this very second, no matter what you are, who you are, how much you’re earning is not the basis or the importance of being there. It’s being One with the Filipino people. As they hold each other’s hand to form a human barricade, they created unity. As they fought their way to one goal, discrimination was never an issue. As they chanted their prayers, religious fights were overshadowed, When the soldiers dropped their weapons, they showed love and compassion. Because that day in 1986, even for a day, we became brothers and sisters, and to me that was the time we were in heaven.
Cory Aquino led the people, and yes, she is a woman, she is a Filipino. When she talked, she made it sure that she was heard and that’s what happened at the US Congress. I became a patriot because of her, because of what I saw. This kind of revolution was used by other Asian countries afterwards but with no success. I am proud that I am part of this country and that I witnessed and became part of the history.
So there again, I could say that having a cabled TV is important and I hope you’re reading this Germaine. We need cable TV and the “how’s-your-day-honey” dinner talk is not enough.
I want to point out as well why Filipino people buy CDs of Francis M. and Michael Jackson after they died. Will you also buy EDSA Revolution soundtrack CD just in case?
Since I’m a Filipina and I have Filipino traits let me give you MY lists of my favorite songs from these three events.
In Frances M., his songs made me remember his name.
In Michael Jackson’s, his name made me remember his songs
The important thing was that they left something that will last for a lifetime.
MY LISTS:
Francis M. Lists:
1. Cold Summer Nights
2. Girl Be Mine
3. Kaleidoscope World
Michael Jackson Lists:
1. I Just Can’t Stop Loving You
2. The Girl Is Mine
3. Human Nature
4. Gone To Soon
5. She’s Out Of My Life
6. You Are Not Alone
Cory Aquino and the EDSA Revolution:
1. Magkaisa
2. Bayan Ko
Friday, July 24, 2009
Monday Storm
The storm is hitting Manila right this afternoon. It's freezing in and out of the building. Coffee and smoking are very essential this minute and I feel sorry for not wearing layers of clothes today. If only I have these items in violent pink and electric purple, (I might look like a giant snowman) but still, I am tempted to wear earmuffs, mittens, bonnet, snow boots and scarf. My teeth are chattering and my hands are turning white. I feel like my coffee is turning into ice.
Speaking of ice, I haven't seen Ice Age 3 yet and everybody in this office were talking about it. I feel that there's nothing spectacular and it's a waste of 200 pesos. The only thing that I like on that movie is the saber-toothed squirrel whose madly obsessed with an acorn and he was an extra. For years I thought that this character doesn't have a name. A friend (Penguin), gave me a a stuffed-saber-toothed squirrel from Ice Age for christmas and I decided to call him Heffner and since everybody likes him and that he is absolutely popular because I'm bringing him to every travel I went to, my brother stole him one night and named him Ricky. My brother just turned 25, how cute and immature of him at the same time. Anyway, that thing has a name as I googled my way through Wikipedia and the character's name is Scrat. I'm sorry Scrat but to me I will still call my stuffed-scrat Heffner aka Ricky.
Anyway, this movie is bland compared to the cartoons I've watched that really pinched a heart. My all time favorite is Monters Inc. and I swear that I have seen this for more than 20 times. This is a kind of movie to watch when you're sick in bed while eating noodles and the raindrops continously sliding down your window pane.
Remember this?
Speaking of ice, I haven't seen Ice Age 3 yet and everybody in this office were talking about it. I feel that there's nothing spectacular and it's a waste of 200 pesos. The only thing that I like on that movie is the saber-toothed squirrel whose madly obsessed with an acorn and he was an extra. For years I thought that this character doesn't have a name. A friend (Penguin), gave me a a stuffed-saber-toothed squirrel from Ice Age for christmas and I decided to call him Heffner and since everybody likes him and that he is absolutely popular because I'm bringing him to every travel I went to, my brother stole him one night and named him Ricky. My brother just turned 25, how cute and immature of him at the same time. Anyway, that thing has a name as I googled my way through Wikipedia and the character's name is Scrat. I'm sorry Scrat but to me I will still call my stuffed-scrat Heffner aka Ricky.
Anyway, this movie is bland compared to the cartoons I've watched that really pinched a heart. My all time favorite is Monters Inc. and I swear that I have seen this for more than 20 times. This is a kind of movie to watch when you're sick in bed while eating noodles and the raindrops continously sliding down your window pane.
Remember this?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Drizzling Moments
I love to eat sinigang on rainy days. The asim-anghang on a steamy clay pot is enticing. Drizzling days are different. I like to eat instant noodles on a big styro cups savoring each moment of eating and enjoying cool, wet weather.
--sanhi ng gutom
--sanhi ng gutom
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Politics in the Philipines
angry mobs; politics; innocent bystanders; no rides; stressful faces; no limits; smoking; gum chewing; heavy rain; falling tears; barricades; Gwen Stefani at happy meal.
--strolling Makati Ave.
--strolling Makati Ave.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Wala
I Love You So - Natalie
Pagnapakinggan mo sya parang gusto mong makipagsayaw sa taong like mo pa lang, yung tipong hindi mo pa love, yung may kilig factor pa lang..corny.
Pero ang sabi nya,
There is passion but there is no magic..
sa tagalog,
May libog pero walang kabog..
cute, parang tagalog ng magic e kabog..
Pagnapakinggan mo sya parang gusto mong makipagsayaw sa taong like mo pa lang, yung tipong hindi mo pa love, yung may kilig factor pa lang..corny.
Pero ang sabi nya,
There is passion but there is no magic..
sa tagalog,
May libog pero walang kabog..
cute, parang tagalog ng magic e kabog..
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Something New, Noisiness and Harry Potter Fever
It's been awhile since I last posted here. I don't have time to compose anything since previous events were all pathetic and more self-loathing. I usually waste time staring blankly for hours and eventually answering yes to every questions without even understanding it. I don't let words, sentences or phrases sink in. Sometimes, I lay in bed lazily doing absolutely nothing until the room gets dark.
Since I left home, I missed all the luxury in life. I miss my car. It saves me time when I'm on errands. I miss the bank account I used to have before my runaway fiasco. I miss the sumptuous food that lay on the dining table. I miss the cable TV. I miss everything that I used to own and the comfortable life without any charge.
I miss my grandmother. Without a car, a visit to Manila Memorial is tiring because it was so big it feels like trekking. Sometimes I think that people needs grave as a place to grieve however, it is wise for me to think that it is not neccessarily the place where they are buried that connects us to the people we've lost, but the feelings we have inside for them.
I hate weekly changing shifts. Mostly, I grieved for double shifts not because I don't have enough sleep but I tend to count the hours left for me to do nothing. I embraced the thought of staring, sitting, smoking, lying or just doing nothing. My bowel movement also changed as far as I'm concerned.
Financial issue is the very core of my deep thought. I usually reserved Harry Potter series on bookstore before it came out to public. Because of this poorness, it'll have to wait, I suit myself reading an internet version of "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows". It looks like reading Mills and Boons, very much the same of FHM's ladies confessions. The story was full of kissing scenes while searching for the horcruxes. Who ever wrote this is truly amusing! I may not be reading the same pages like HP fans this Sunday morning but hey, this one's smashing!
Yesterday I finally understand what jelly-legs felt. I was stucked inside an elevator with 2 maintenance and an old lady. It was supposed to take me to the 9th floor but instead it shoots up like a rocket ready to take off to planet mars. We were stuck between 12th and 14th flr. I'm claustrophobic and I began to panic. I pushed the open button several times but it didn't work so I pressed the emergency button looking stupid and pale. The old lady was frightened about what I did and began cursing me. I was about to pass out because of nervousness but the elevator began moving again and brought us back to the ground floor.
Other concern talks about my fatty liver. Everybody seems to be getting fit while I seem to be getting fat, yeah.
Goldie and I celebrated our anniversary last friday. We do have a lot of downs I admit, shedding a million tears and all but still, we rock dude! I still have butterflies in my stomach everytime she kisses me. She never fails to make my heart skip a beat everytime she actually looks at me. She may never know how I really feels whenever were apart - working or just plainly growing apart because this kind of feeling, missing and longing is something I can't express even on writing.
Noisiness is irritating, period.
Since I left home, I missed all the luxury in life. I miss my car. It saves me time when I'm on errands. I miss the bank account I used to have before my runaway fiasco. I miss the sumptuous food that lay on the dining table. I miss the cable TV. I miss everything that I used to own and the comfortable life without any charge.
I miss my grandmother. Without a car, a visit to Manila Memorial is tiring because it was so big it feels like trekking. Sometimes I think that people needs grave as a place to grieve however, it is wise for me to think that it is not neccessarily the place where they are buried that connects us to the people we've lost, but the feelings we have inside for them.
I hate weekly changing shifts. Mostly, I grieved for double shifts not because I don't have enough sleep but I tend to count the hours left for me to do nothing. I embraced the thought of staring, sitting, smoking, lying or just doing nothing. My bowel movement also changed as far as I'm concerned.
Financial issue is the very core of my deep thought. I usually reserved Harry Potter series on bookstore before it came out to public. Because of this poorness, it'll have to wait, I suit myself reading an internet version of "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows". It looks like reading Mills and Boons, very much the same of FHM's ladies confessions. The story was full of kissing scenes while searching for the horcruxes. Who ever wrote this is truly amusing! I may not be reading the same pages like HP fans this Sunday morning but hey, this one's smashing!
Yesterday I finally understand what jelly-legs felt. I was stucked inside an elevator with 2 maintenance and an old lady. It was supposed to take me to the 9th floor but instead it shoots up like a rocket ready to take off to planet mars. We were stuck between 12th and 14th flr. I'm claustrophobic and I began to panic. I pushed the open button several times but it didn't work so I pressed the emergency button looking stupid and pale. The old lady was frightened about what I did and began cursing me. I was about to pass out because of nervousness but the elevator began moving again and brought us back to the ground floor.
Other concern talks about my fatty liver. Everybody seems to be getting fit while I seem to be getting fat, yeah.
Goldie and I celebrated our anniversary last friday. We do have a lot of downs I admit, shedding a million tears and all but still, we rock dude! I still have butterflies in my stomach everytime she kisses me. She never fails to make my heart skip a beat everytime she actually looks at me. She may never know how I really feels whenever were apart - working or just plainly growing apart because this kind of feeling, missing and longing is something I can't express even on writing.
Noisiness is irritating, period.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Friday the 13th
Ngayon ko lang napatunayan na malas talaga ang friday the 13th. Sobrang gipit na ako ngayon at kahit sunugin mo ko ng buhay eh hindi ako mangangamoy pera. Kung hindi magpapasweldo ngayon eh mapipilitan na akong bumuo ng samahan na aanib saking mag-umalsa. Ang plan B ko naman e manlikop ng mga bagay na pwedeng dalahin kay Ninong Ceb at Tita Lulu. (Cebuana-Lhuillier Inc.)
Bukod sa wala akong pera, wala na rin ako sa mood. Kasalukuyang pinapatugtog nanaman ni Ron ang kantang "Somos Novios" ng paulit-ulit na sya namang nagpapakunot sa noo ko. Kundi ako napapayosi sa oras ng trabaho e hanggang sa pag-uwi ko nagpeplay na sya sa utak ko.
Pambihira, sira ang aircon. 'Di mo na maitatanong, hinihintay ko na ang pag-apila ng konsensya ko para itanong kung nag-Safeguard ako. Kung ang aircon ay nasira, himala namang nag-self healing ang "hot" sa water dispenser namin. Magkakape pa rin ako kahit mainit.
Pangalawang araw ko ng hindi hinaharas ang kanin pero patuloy parin ang pang-aabuso ko sa kape. Sobrang hirap ng buhay, makakakita pa kaya ako ng nyebe?
Pang holloween ang suot ko ngayon, orange. Kulay kalabasa. Nasa lalabahan ang lahat ng itim. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ko pa ito sinasabi, mi ultimo si Tender Heart ng Carebears won't care. Halos lahat kasi ngayon ay naka-pink at sadyang naiinggit ako.
Nakausap ko ulit yung kaibigan kong nasa Boracay. Mukhang paraiso naman ang buhay nya doon. Sabi nya, apaw ang trabaho dun. Naisip ko lang na magandang halimbawa ito ng pag-escape. Ewan ko lang kung sundan nyo pa'ko! Bora-Mla Mla-Bora repeat 10,000 times, Deal or No Deal? Head or Tails? Yes or No? To Be or Not To Be? Pera o Bayong? Kwarta o Kahon? Laban o Bawi? Oo o Hindi? Sa Pula, Sa Puti?
Bukod sa wala akong pera, wala na rin ako sa mood. Kasalukuyang pinapatugtog nanaman ni Ron ang kantang "Somos Novios" ng paulit-ulit na sya namang nagpapakunot sa noo ko. Kundi ako napapayosi sa oras ng trabaho e hanggang sa pag-uwi ko nagpeplay na sya sa utak ko.
Pambihira, sira ang aircon. 'Di mo na maitatanong, hinihintay ko na ang pag-apila ng konsensya ko para itanong kung nag-Safeguard ako. Kung ang aircon ay nasira, himala namang nag-self healing ang "hot" sa water dispenser namin. Magkakape pa rin ako kahit mainit.
Pangalawang araw ko ng hindi hinaharas ang kanin pero patuloy parin ang pang-aabuso ko sa kape. Sobrang hirap ng buhay, makakakita pa kaya ako ng nyebe?
Pang holloween ang suot ko ngayon, orange. Kulay kalabasa. Nasa lalabahan ang lahat ng itim. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ko pa ito sinasabi, mi ultimo si Tender Heart ng Carebears won't care. Halos lahat kasi ngayon ay naka-pink at sadyang naiinggit ako.
Nakausap ko ulit yung kaibigan kong nasa Boracay. Mukhang paraiso naman ang buhay nya doon. Sabi nya, apaw ang trabaho dun. Naisip ko lang na magandang halimbawa ito ng pag-escape. Ewan ko lang kung sundan nyo pa'ko! Bora-Mla Mla-Bora repeat 10,000 times, Deal or No Deal? Head or Tails? Yes or No? To Be or Not To Be? Pera o Bayong? Kwarta o Kahon? Laban o Bawi? Oo o Hindi? Sa Pula, Sa Puti?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Independence Day
I don't have to enumerate the things I do nowadays kasi simple lang and people won't understand. I hate myself for being so dependent on someone na halos nawalan na'ko ng paa't kamay. Nahihirapan ako to be honest and it hurts knowing na tinitiis na'ko ngayon and it makes me cry sometimes pagsobrang hirap na..
Wala lang, I posted it here cause my life's turning into a new phase and people around me may think na ang tanga-tanga ko and feeling ko they were turning their backs on me sa choice na ginawa ko but they will never know the great surge of pride that fills me up every time I do something unusual.
Gusto ko ng maging independent ulit..
Ang hirap, nakakaiyak ngunit ang sarap.
Wala lang, I posted it here cause my life's turning into a new phase and people around me may think na ang tanga-tanga ko and feeling ko they were turning their backs on me sa choice na ginawa ko but they will never know the great surge of pride that fills me up every time I do something unusual.
Gusto ko ng maging independent ulit..
Ang hirap, nakakaiyak ngunit ang sarap.
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