Random Thoughts

Here are my “issues” at present:

1. Why is that every time I clean the house it goes back to the way it was – messy and dirty?
2. Why does the kitchen sink have endless dirty plates?
3. Why 2 small dogs meant bigger responsibilities?
4. Why did we buy a sofa that cannot be washed?
5. Why do we have electrical problems?
6. Why do we have water pipe problems?
7. Why don’t we have cable TV?
8. Why don’t we have a decent laptop with internet connection?
9. Why does my partner irritate me from time to time regarding housework?
10. Why do we always talk about her plans of changing work?
11. Why do I feel underpaid?
12. Why am I earning little when I actually need so much?
13. Why am I not happy with work?
14. Why does work make me sick?
15. Why don’t I have time with my family and friends?
16. Why can’t I stretch my salary?
17. Why can’t I finish reading a book?
18. Why can’t I write anymore?
19. Why do I feel deprived of having luxury time?
20. Why, WHy, WHY?

What I Have Learned Last Year

I have learned that:

• Some highlights in your life are not always good. In your life span, there is something good or terrible thing that will happened to you and you will remember every detail of it. Words are hard to find by the time you try to express it whether in verbal or in writing and it will only lead to a series of incomplete sentences.
• I can quit my job but I can never quit on love.
• People are shitty and they can judge you unfairly.
• I feel more human when I refuse to speak and think ill of others.
  

• On a relationship, it is important that she understands with me and I understand with her.
• I don’t always have to fill in the silence. I don’t always have to have to.
• The grandest of house was the one that was built by two people in love.
• Lying is the last resort to prevent series of disappointments.
• Loved ones you have lost contact with maybe for some time or for eternity will haunt you in your dreams and/or back to reality.
• Bogus stories on frightening hour and lonesome time can be really amusing.
• Suffocating ideas are scary and can make you really crazy.
• People are more interested about Manny Pacquiao’s victory than Pride March.
• Writing is a therapy.
• Writing is easier than talking.
• Scents lingers. Not only in the sense of occupying space or the room but it reminded you of things/someone.
• Strangers can sometimes give you comfort.
• That this little girl can now make the matches spark.
• I am the only member of the family that was not included at the “exchange gift”.
• I am the only girl member of the family who didn’t receive a swarovski bracelet.
• Neither one of my partner’s family likes me.
• Unplanned travel is costly.
• Pink and blue walls reminded me of MMDA’s Metro Gwapo campaigns.

35 Seconds Elevator Ride - Allied Bank

1. I put myself to another messed up situation that complicates my life and others.

2. I grew up being abused at every turn and learned to see the outcome of a situation I am in and anyone who has sufferred greatly at the hand of another will understand what I just said.

3. I should not let words hurt me. I should put aside my emotion and look at things from a logical perspective, for they are only words and the people behind them are nothing.

4. I kept hurtful emotions to myself and I have a paranoid-type-of-thoughts that people around me would love to hear me tell them why my emotions are bruised.

5. It's not what they say about me, it's what they whisper.

6. The truth is different for everyone and I believe that everybody's entitled to their opinion though the feeling wasn't good at all because it's coming from people who just spent hours with me.

7. I want to make a list..100 things that makes me happy.

8. I am me because I choose to be. My alien philosophies are sacred and if that makes me a bitch, okay.

9. People trust me no more when it comes to love. I want them to know that I have the capacity to understand true love.

10. A friend told me that beginnings actually doesn't matter because flaws are there, it's the happy ending that counts. I believe her.

11. To be honest, ordinary life does not interest me. Is this the reason why I complicate things?

12. When you're down, drunk and in no mood for anything, discussions about diet coming from a person who never gets fat can make me cry.

13. Words like piggy bank, porkchop, super boink, zashikibuta, three little pigs, piglet, porky, babes in the city are so used by me everyday. haaay

14. There is nothing wrong for being happy go lucky. I've been through a lot of pain that sometimes suicide is an option. I cried, I moaned, I whined but I choose to laugh, to enjoy life and love again.

15. Facial hurts more than having a tattoo.

16. I am not serious, that's what people say...wow, I just smile.

17. I will forever love the moonlight.

18. I'm good in wasting so much time, yeah!

19. I'm spending too much on cigarettes.

20. Too much coffee and yosi creates sweaty hands. I'l be lucky to reach the age of 40.

21. Adult party rocks!

22. Alanis Morisette is my saint.

23. Cynthia Alexander, I crush you.

24. Lip balm makes my lips drier.

25. I've been spending so much time staring at my computer screen.

26. I have to start that scrapbook thing.

27. Gum, gum, gum..I need more gum..

Supposed To Be A Live Journal Entry

I'm happy today because:

1. I woke up feeling light with a smile on my face
2. Jackpot's first text message made me smile even more
3. I ate a lousy breakfast and yet i didn't complain at all.
4. I was singing while taking a bath
5. I'm not late for 'morning-with-penguin-and-ivy' session today.
6. My officemates are harassing me with words like: "uy! girl na girl" etc. but I didn't sue them
7. I got a letter from jackpot
8. and a shiny red gummy hearts
9. I combed my hair at last!
10. My friendster bulletin was taken over by invitations that I consider spam and it doesn't irritates me at all
11. If not for the smoking detector, I should be lighting a candle for my oil burner to increase a good mood. (I'm at the office, by the way)
12. Any jokes can make me laugh.
13. I'm using vanilla body spray that irritates everyone around me and I don't even care.
14. I met jackpot downstairs
15. Yung kiss, ang cute..
16. I am now spending almost 8 hours staring blankly at my computer screen while my mind wanders to never never land
17. It was raining, yey!
18. The stickers I bought from Kuya Dante every time I feel blue were now in good use.

Oh yeah, everything's perfect because it's our 2nd monthsary