Dogs are better than kids because they:

• they eat less 
• don't ask for money all the time
• are easier to maintain
• normally come when called
• never ask to drive the car
• don't hang out with drug-using friends
• don't smoke or drink
• don't have to buy the latest fashions
• don't want to wear your clothes
• don't need gazillion pesos for college and
• if they get pregnant, you can sell their children, yeah!

This is a photo of mio, my baby dog
from my tumblr: http://alienphilosophies.tumblr.com/

My 2010 Billboard of the Year

Have you seen the coolest billboard at C5? It's Pepe Smith posing for Mental, astig pare!

My 2010 Commercial of the Year "Bangon"

Winner ang commercial na'to..it reminds me of why I wake up in the morning to work my ass off everyday.

Routine

There’s this illness that Germaine was telling me about. It’s what she called headache weather and it hit me yesterday in uncomfortable pain. It was when you’re experiencing hot and humid Sunday morning and later at noon the weather changed giving you cold windy rain that hits your window pane. It was the pressure, she explained. I hated the word pressure in every sense, whether it was used in a sentence or a paragraph. The word can even be used alone. It was always associated with the word stress.

So there, I am so unhappy waking at 4:55 Monday morning where I wasted my whole Sunday off by popping headache pills and sleeping. I did not accomplish anything. I feel that I wasted one day of my human time. I didn’t have the chance to do what was planned which I hated the most. I didn’t get the chance to go home to Makati where both of my parents lived. I didn’t get to see my niece where she’s on a stage na nagingilala. You know how babies are, they grow so fast. I just wanted to be part of everything.

I am tempted to excuse myself from work today but every penny counts nowadays. That’s where my other least favorite word comes in, responsibility.

Anyway, waking up at four in the morning every Monday was how I begin my weekday. I woke up with my dog, Mio. I boiled water for an instant coffee and booted on the laptap for some writing. Then I get bored and watched some shows from the six-inched black and white spare TV while playing some computer games. Then I prepare breakfast while waiting for the manicurist. Then at noon, I will force myself to sleep because I need to go to work in the evening. My dog will wake me up at exactly 6:00 pm whether I like it or not and starting to get ready for work.

In an hour, I find myself driving along Commonwealth Avenue where tragic death is always nearby.

At work, I immediately turn on the computer to log in because that’s where my salary lies. I only have thirty to twenty minutes before I will be tagged as late. The system takes forever to upload.

I will wait for my buddy to log in, then we’ll go down to have a chat and coffee. As soon as we reached our stations, we try to hit the daily quotas up until 6:00 am and occasionally extending some hours.

I will go home experiencing stress again by driving along Commonwealth Avenue where drivers raced with each other like they were in Timezone and people crossing the wide highway as if their lives are worth nothing. These people are either lazy to use the government provided footbridge or as usual, these facilities are just not strategically located.

As soon as I reached home, I will do what was written in paragraph four. It is all routinary. That’s why I wanted to do something different every weekends. I’m not asking for something extreme, but moving and breathing on a different environment with different people, especially people you care about the most makes it worthwhile.

Of Music, Mondays and Adobo

It was the music; the coolness of the voice that blends well with different musical instruments that filled the air this Monday morning. Maybe it was the busted TV, or the spare six-inch TV in black and white, or the nonsense TV shows that made me open the forgotten old dusty radio and put it in a not too soft, not too loud volume.

It was tuned in to 106.7 Dream FM. I hardly recommend anything over the internet since I don’t get paid for the free advertisement, but the music was calming. It made me feel the atmosphere of a Friday night at a high-rise condo; preparing a simple dinner with friends or loved ones, setting the table with flowers and candles and a bottle of champagne or red wine while watching the city lights and traffic on the highway from a floor to ceiling glass window. God, sounds like heaven - how it melts your stress away, how you tend to smile every now and then knowing how relaxed and content you are.

But reality sets in. It’s Monday and I have to go to work later tonight. I am residing at a low-cost condo complex, renting a unit at the second floor with a view of an apricot-colored building similar to ours that can be seen from a window with curtains tied up haphazardly. The atmosphere is occasionally broken by vehicle noises and children coming out of school buses. It was almost noon and the sun’s rays were inching their way into our living room, quite unwelcome because it will surely cause an indoor heat wave again. I have a little dog that messes up the house. He stinks up the house and is bent on “destroying” the furniture.

I’m in the middle of cooking Chicken Adobo - Chinese style for lunch. Like how Joey Herrera described his flatmates’ cooking style, I’m multi-tasking. I am reading a book, playing Burger Rush on the laptop, texting to schedule an appointment with the manicurist, violently commenting every now and then to Germaine about the book she’s reading, smoking and cooking. I just threw in all the ingredients in a pot; the chicken parts I bought from the supermarket, the soy sauce, vinegar, salt, sugar, crushed peppercorn, bay leaf and anise with no exact measurements, all just by instinct.

This is the fun part. I simply cover the pot and forget about the dish altogether. After a long, long while doing other chores and activities, I run back to the pot to check if the chicken has burned. Then I discover that Voila! Chicken Adobo Chinese Style is done to perfection!

Meanwhile, the music was so good it made me drink cheap local red wine straight from the bottle. So what’s your favorite radio station?

In Memory of You

Dear Potchi,

Last year when I was at nesting, I saw you at the intranet, the staff’s website. We were browsing, checking the possible supervisor that we will be under. Your posing in the photos were always slightly sideways, just like Mega Star Sharon Cuneta. Bookie told me once that it was your best angle.

You were almost my supervisor, do you know that? I was the first one to pick the schedule because I was top of my class. I understand that your team was always on top because you get the nicest schedule with Saturdays and Sundays off. Lazy as I was I picked Teejay’s schedule instead with three days off.

Who cannot recognize you on the floor? You’re one of the liveliest people I’ve met and the funniest presiding officer during cluster meetings. You made us all laugh.

I remember one time when I had one of those stressful calls. I was talking to an American idiot who wanted me to perform magic on his reservations. We were talking for almost an hour and I was banging my mouse, typing at the keyboard with great force and cursing under my breath. I was clearly irate. You walked behind me and tap me at my shoulder. You startled me when I saw you, and you asked me, “Are you okay? Can you still handle the call?” I was tomato red. I was so ashamed of myself that it took me awhile to regain my composure. “Yes. Thank you for asking.” That was my only reply. At least you made me give extra patience to the person I was talking to on the phone.

I know we were not close. We were merely acquaintances, but somehow you’re one particular person from Expedia I will remember for the rest of my life. You will always be part of the PeopleSupport family and the “call center stories” that I will tell my friends and family for generations to come.

Potchi, you will be missed, especially the people who loved you so much.

Monday Sickness

The problem about happy weekends is the ugly truth that you’ll face during Mondays. Most of us have rest says on weekends and on my part (being on the night shift), it started 5:00 in the morning. I will abruptly finish my work and making it sure I turned off the computer at 4:59 am. By exactly 5:00 am you’ll see me rummaging inside my locker and dashing off outside the building to welcome the first ray of the sun. Feeling good about the first few minutes of my work-free time, I chatted with my closest friend at the office who is Rakel, as words, laughter, emotions and heavy puff of smoke comes out of our mouth. At 5:30 am, we’re ready to wave our goodbyes and anticipate ourselves to reach home as soon as possible.

Weekends meant home. That’s how I define it. And home means family, bestfriend and partner.

I have two sets of family by the way. If I want to spend time with my pops, my sister Nadine, my brother Jay, Malou aka Sam, and our dogs Buck and Chill, I will drive myself to Makati and spend the whole afternoon there. The thing that I wanted the most in Makati home is spending time with Trudy, our super computer with internet connection. (Yes, the bloody computer had a name). I don’t have to spend money for anything there which was great and that is something I miss every now and then.

Spending time with my mom is the best because she comes to me, tagging along my sister Arby and my youngest brother Batutoy. I cooked everytime they visit which my mom never fails to say something nasty about it. She’s a typical mom, never approves of everything she sees about my own home. She doesn’t approve about the thick ice on the refrigerator. She hates the moldy bread on top of the microwave. She disapproves about the undies which are soak for a week or two in the KFC bucket. She despised the mountain of plates on the kitchen sink. She nags about the kitchen floor and how stinky Mio (my pet dog) is. She’s a yada-yada machine while she scrubs the floor, defroze the ref, threw away the garbage, wash the dishes and do the laundry. I sometimes wonder how she managed to nag and scrub at the same time.

The wacky days are spent with my bestfriend Ivory. Every two weeks (which is pay day) is our bonding days. We watched movies or go to the zoo or a trip to a spa or drink and sang at a karaoke or whatever. It was always spontaneous.

Mostly, I spent time at home with my partner. We spend time eating whether we cooked it or order it from somewhere. We consume a lot of electricity during these weekends watching dvds and sleeping the whole day with the aircon on.

What made it so gloomy during Mondays? Because probably the fun stops there and I have to put on the seriousness of the weekday routines where I have to wake up early to prepare food for Germaine and the ache starts where she leaves for work and I was left alone with Mio and the house with never ending chores. Maybe I was missing the human contact. The emotions that I shared with them everytime we were together. The happy weekends became good memories that stained during Monday mornings. How I think very significantly that 120 hours each week will make my baby brother into a man, that I am running out of time spending day at the zoo or play games with him, or my mom or my dad will soon be called lolo and lola by my soon to be nephews and nieces, or my bestfriend and I will soon show heavy wrinkles and white hair sticking out of our heads or my partner will still be my partner in the long run while I am busy being a robot programmed to be alone, to let my love ones grow, to force myself to sleep after lunch so that I can work in the evening to make something out of myself and to earn for a living.

This is sickness, where the only day I think of time; where I always felt like crying; where I always crave for hug; where I dreamed of pat in the back; where I always hungered for love; coz this is always the day I think of the cycle of human life.

Feb to March

It’s happening again, how I rarely spend time writing and once I find myself time to do it, its a million stories in one piece.

It’s not just about writing. You see, everytime I got a night job, besides me being nocturnal, I find less and less time with some things that really matter. There goes the mountain of plates and basins of undies waiting to be washed. It’s frustrating because these things need an amount of time to be squeezed in on my weekend routine.

Anyway, February to March turns out to be the most unbelievable months. There are these two things that almost lead my partner and I to breaking up. They really bring out the worst in us and everytime we speak, we never fail to make it sound like profanity.

It made us learn one thing, we need to set aside our differences and allow ourselves to learn from each other.

On a brighter side, this is the highlight of my Valentine:

taken at Bukidnon, Asia's longest zipline

And I’m beginning to like my new job.

One more thing, I’m thankful of not having a cable, because news freaks me out, the calamities and all. They’re like the presidential candidates for 2010, they gives me goosebumps!

Lastly, I want to hear from you in the meantime! (and this post is from kat)

If you want to be anonymous, that’s perfectly fine. Here are the things I want to know about you as of now (and following are my answers):

1. What’s your all-time favorite color? And then your sometimes favorite color.

2. What are your top five favorite foods?

3. Let’s say every person has an Emergency Bag in his/her room, the one bag that s/he will grab in case of fire, earthquake, flood, or any emergency. This bag is especially readied for the purpose of supporting its owner in case s/he will need to camp out for days (Let’s say there are no houses left okay? Total devastation). What would be the contents of yours? Give me ten items at the most. Off the top of your head, don’t think too much!

********************
1. This question actually brings me to confusion because my favorite color depends on my mood. But everytime I was asked, I answered periwinkle for the heck of answering and since the question requires me two answers, the second will be lavender.

2. Spaghetti and Meatballs, Buffalo Wings of Don Henrico’s, Buttered Chicken of A.venue, KFC, Baked Fish at Quattro.

3. Underwear, cellphone, cellphone charger, camera, rechargeable batteries, deodorant, wallet, my folder where important documents are filed like diplomas, birth certificate etc, cigarette and lighter.

Please..

Playlist

Sobrang badtrip araw na'to..sobrang badtrip that I can't write about it.
Songs, these songs calmed me down..

Let Me In - Mike Francis
Friends - Mike Francis
Lovely Day - Mike Francis
Over and Over Again - Tim McGraw and Nelly
Ain't It Over Til Its Over - Lenny Kravitz
The Way Of The Plann - Mastaplann

Dear Comelec

from my tumblr

The Article

I have read somewhere that when you reach you’re 20’s, it is the period where people are busy defining themselves. It is a crucial stage where each of us is busy finding who we really are, whether we’re aware of it or not.

I can’t find the article but based on what she said, her 20’s was a total mess. Whose wasn’t? Mine was definitely a fiasco!

My 20’s started with a bang. I happened to find myself a job at a fastfood restaurant while waiting for my diploma. I quit my job right after I graduated from college and I kept changing jobs ever since. My career path was obviously headed nowhere.

My love life was no exception. I was brought up to maturity until my mid 20’s by a live-in partner and I stupidly messed up. My late 20’s consisted of changing partner after partner ever since. The pattern was simply the same.

My wealth was insufficient. I drained my savings account during the runaway event of my life and my wallet was exhausted. The money was being circulated out of my pocket bill after bill ever since.

My health smacked me big time. I was a rocker during my teenage life. There aren’t any pleasures I haven’t tasted. I develop this and that, and so I took pill after pill ever since.

My relationship with my family was a tough one. I ran away every time I did something wrong and was so afraid to face the consequences. I never fail to disappoint them. It was disappointment after disappointment ever since.

My friends were like flowers that were freshly picked in the wild. They wither after three days. Even though you try to preserve them in a jar of water, the petals slowly fall one by one, petal after petal.

To top it all, physical appearance doesn’t flatter me anymore. I used to be a cheer dancer and who will believe it now? The skirts, the midriffs, the tubes and all those skimpy clothes are long dead and gone. Even the henna and the belly button ring were absurd. I feel hopelessness every time I looked in the mirror. It was pound after pound ever since.

This is how I characterize myself during my 20’s.

In a few months, I will be 30. I know it’s a little early to write this down because at some point I still have time to end it with dignity. The reason why I’m pushing this is because the writer from that article wrote that people who reached their 30’s already know what they can and cannot change. At this point, I know them already.

I cannot change the fact that I am a graduate. I include this because it is really hard to finish school. Whether the pop quiz, the thesis, the peer pressure or the problem I encounter to pay for my tuition. It matters. It is significant. It is from my diploma I get the strength every time I was being interviewed job after job. I cannot change the fact that I am job-hopper. I don’t want opportunities. I don’t want change. What I want is better opportunities. I want a better change.

I include my educational background because I have a strong belief that I can be whatever I wanted to be if I set my mind into it.

In the love aspect, I cannot change the fact that I messed up with Jack. But looking for Jack in the people I had committed myself to, that I can change.

I cannot change the fact I have this strong attraction with the same sex. At this point in my life, I have accepted who I really am.

For the wealth part, I can change my spending habits. I can refrain myself from buying unnecessary stuffs and stick with what is really essential. I can find a way to invest on things and live a simpler life.

I can change my lifestyle. I can choose healthier foods but I cannot deprive myself to starvation. Crash diet is not my thing and chocolates are still my favorites. I can still eat them but in small amounts. I cannot change the feeling of displeasure with regards to gym but I can have my own exercise routine like walking or biking or similar activities that will not bore me.

I can change the unpleasant relationship I had with my family. I will face my fear and never runaway but I cannot change the way I stood with my beliefs. I am proud of that.

I can change the way I treat my friends. I will not make the same mistake of raining them with my problems. I will not inject them of “me-issues” to every conversation. This time, I’ve learned to be the listener, the giver, of me being a real friend.

It was weeks ago when I read this article from PDI. It was Celine Lopez who inspired me to look at myself one more time. Whatever happens in my 30’s I know I will survive for I can’t wait to be in my 40’s where people like you and me don’t give a crap.

Team Mon

This is the family that I'm going to miss..

 

Maraming salamat po..

Ghost of 2009

This is a photo of me July 2009 at Cafe by the Ruins Baguio City. I am hungry for something good to read.

In Panic

Yesterday we were in panic. Rocky aka Mio, (my dog) almost died. If you’re familiar with Miniature Pinchers, they’re a breed that loves to play. Their favorites are bottles and bottle caps. Mio was no exception, he loves to get empty bottles from under the sink and you’ll be surprised how he could twist the cap using his paws and teeth. He can do this within five minutes. Yesterday, while I was cooking pesto for the first time, Germaine was shrieking with panic. Mio, as usual, went under the sink looking for his toys. What he got was a bottle of bleaching fluid. He actually punctured the bottle causing the chemical to leak. We were so afraid that he ingested enough to make him die. As per instruction from the bleach bottle, we needed to make him drink milk, and that’s what we did. Luckily, he is still alive and kicking today.

Panic is our topic for today. This feeling is what I hated the most because it is associated with fear. On this state, you blab uncontrollably in a high pitch tone and terror was so visible it was contagious. The worst part is you’re thoughts are cloudy, blocked by fear. This is why Germaine and I caused ruckus in the heat of the afternoon where everyone in dhe building where having their siesta. She irritated me with the shrieking manner she relayed the news to me. All she could say was “He will die! He will die! He will die!” The best thing to do in this situation is to stay calm, at least one of us should be. One should think properly and look for a solution. Maybe this is one of the reasons why everyone is advised to stay calm during the state of calamity. The seriousness of panic attack may cause more damage due to mental block.    

Here’s the deal. Apparently, I was in panic again. I don’t know how to tell my boss later that I’m resigning. That is part of my big change this year. I want to change my career and that means changing companies as well. I was given a better offer and finally I’ve decided to pass my resignation later. My previous boss wanted a change too. He applied to a different account hoping for a big leap. He was accepted and as parting gift, he transferred me to email team, the position I’m gunning for since day one. He made me promised 100% commitment on this new job. The problem is that the offer from the other company was given later. Now it doesn’t feel good breaking a promise and communicating bad news.

In case he stumbled on this blog, I want to tell him how sorry I am for letting him down. I’m sorry that I didn’t keep my promise and that it took days for me to consider my options. I am grateful for every thing that he has done and here’s wishing both of us better careers.

Anyway, I’m still in the process of calming myself down. I believe I’m in a tense state already because I can’t think straight and this blog is a ramble. My stomach is churning and the coffee and cigarette are not helping at all.    

Ramblings

Last night, I watched “Great Expectations” with Germaine. It’s a “not feel good” movie. It’s more of “I-wish-it-turns-out-like-this” sort of film. I definitely brought it to my sleep.

Anyway, I guess I’m not in the mood for writing. My thoughts are running unsystematically so I’ll note down everything that comes out of my mind.

So what’s new?

First, I bought cosmopolitan diary as a replacement for the laptop. (very pathetic)
Second, I’m taking considerations for the job options.
Third, I got to see my mom and siblings and it really made my day.
Fourth, I was trying to make a travel and food blog which is separate to this blog.
Fifth, I have several attempts of cleaning the house.
Sixth, I’m having trouble managing tumblr.
Seventh, unlike the others, facebook bores me.
Eight, It made me wonder why it’s cold when it’s already summer.
Ninth, I need to arrange my finances wisely like Kepi and my brother Jay.
Tenth, I can’t help myself consuming a lot of paper towels.
Eleventh, “Desperate Housewives” is good except to the part where Teri Hatcher insulted the Filipino doctors.
Twelfth, I can’t seem to finish reading Stephenie Meyer’s “New Moon”.
Thirteenth, I was looking for a healthier recipe.
Fourteenth, Every year we buy water heater.
Fifteenth, getting job requirements are time consuming and costly.
Sixteenth, Full House (Korean version) gives me eyestrain.

The Most Indirect Blog Entry That I Ever Wrote

January feels like Christmas! I feel that I was on a long holiday vacation from a different planet and I just got back from earth unwrapping each parcels under the withered Christmas tree. Most of the things that needs to be done and what should be done was over and done with. I am now enjoying the presents, the outcome, the results.

Have you ever felt worthless sometimes in your life? Have you ever felt bad about some situation? It is so bad that there’s no other option or even solution to find your way out and all you need to do is wait on what will happen next hopefully things will be okay at the end.

Then came after the dry season was rain. Options and choices are outpouring. All I need to do is choose and whichever I want will be a positive outcome. I am excited that it made me too anxious with each passing seconds.

I was on the parched state for far too long and I was glad I’m almost on the top right now. I know, what I’m writing right now was too indirect and I might lose connection here but what I’m trying to say is that this is my last chance to establish who I really am. I am turning thirty this year and as what others say, people in their 30’s were already established. I should at least set my foot on the ground and raise my forehead high six months from now.

P.S.

A lot of things will change but some of it will remain. I will still be a nicotine and caffeine junkie.

The Cab, The Call Center Industry and the White Piece of Paper

Ten minutes ago, I was in the middle of deciding whether I go to sleep or writing a blog piece. I can see that you finally found out what I’ve decided to do, I am going to consume more electricity by switching on the lights, turning on the water heater to make myself a cup of coffee, turning on the electric fan and booting up the laptop. I just had this horrible thought that if I sleep, I might wake up in the evening and the beautiful day will just gone by. This is one of the things that we’re being robbed off by the call center companies - a long “normal sunny day”.

Yesterday was a busy day compared to what was going to happen now. Unlike today, I’m going to worry how the hell I’m going to clean this super duper messy house right after I finished writing. Yesterday was pushing my luck. I applied for a non-voice account.

I submitted resumes the day before through email and was asked for an appearance to two different companies. I turned down the first job offer because the salary was too low and decided to take a cab to reach my second destination. The driver, for the love of God (sorry for the blasphemy) was a chatterbox. How I love silence when riding a cab especially if your mind was in the process of constructing some sensible thoughts. Anyway, the driver started with an icebreaking questions as usual and didn’t get my I-don’t-want-to-talk-right-now answers. Soon enough I gave up my sensible thoughts construction and gave in for a “stranger conversation”. He was a graduate of Banking and Finance and was bored of the banking job and quit. He then pursued a travel agent career to a Korean company and learned different languages. The company closed so he decided to be a cab driver and be a tour guide as a racket. I will not tell you about his biography and how he became a “linguist”, instead I want to share with you some information that he told me during the Metro Manila ride.

There’s this American customer who came to ride on his cab. Imagine his chatter mouth and non-stop questions, he got his customer to talk. The American was an employee from a big company in the US and was deployed here in the Philippines to negotiate their business with a call center company. He was told that his company from the US was willing to give P25,000 as a basic salary for each of the employees but the call center company told them that P15,000 – P18,000 were enough to the Filipino employees. So what’s wrong with this picture? The people who are running the call center industries were selfish and idiots!

I will tell you what is wrong. I have been absent for two weeks already because I keep getting sick. I developed hypertension due to stress from irate callers. Our job is to sound friendly even if the customers are cursing you already. Part of the job is to multi-task. To be able to ignore the shouting curses from the customer’s dirty mouths while you do what has to be done even if they want you to perform a David Copperfield magic fiasco. I developed insomnia due to shifting schedules and I ruined my social life. Lately, I developed laryngitis that might kill me if I will not rest my voice. You see? That’s the reason why I’m looking for a non-voice account and I don’t think that P15,000 – P18,000 is enough motivation for me to work my ass off with the work schedule of 2:00 am – 1:00 pm. Ang cute nila, ‘di ba?

How can you not provide us something that is reasonable? The health benefit doesn’t work at all! Imagine where I could get the money for this lab test that the physician asked me to undergo if the health insurance doesn’t cover everything? You think the salary that you negotiated from them are enough?! Some of us have families to feed and bills to pay! Kalokohan! But we can’t do anything about it, right? It is better than being jobless. Like what the American told the driver, the decision is not with them but in the call center companies. Hay, bwisit!

So he dropped me off to this great building of this great company. I was asked to be seated at the lobby to fill out the information that’s already in my resume. The second page was composed of three essay questions. I was still answering the first question when I was herded to one of the rooms with the other applicants. We were asked to take a 2-hour exam. Only ten questions for the English and the rest are all about mathematics. Even the IQ test is number series. Ang hirap pare! We were given a calculator and I can’t even use it because I don’t know how to compute it. Grabe, it’s a nightmare! I really wanted to have the courage to stand up and tell the moderator that I don’t want to take the test anymore and leave the company premises. Well, the courage didn’t dawn upon me that afternoon but determination does. I just answered the paper ridiculously and leave most of the questions unanswered. I can’t even imagine how the other applicants get to answer the questionare with ties around their neck or blazers on. I am wearing jeans people with my Chucks on and that doesn’t make the exam easier. After the long exam, na-torta talaga utak ko and I do feel mentally violated. I was mentally harassed. I was mentally humiliated. Imagine, what is the answer to C (….) X? I was asked to answer the dotted line and the number of dots is the number of letters of the correct answer. Feel free to leave a comment on this blog entry if you happen to know the answer kasi ang bobo ko. I texted Germaine to pick me up immediately whether I get the chance to get the result or not because I was so convinced that I failed the exam. I don’t know what took Germaine so long but my name was called for the result. If you’re familiar with the call center recruitment procedure, you know that the piece of paper is a piece of failure. I didn’t bother to open the piece of paper. My “oh well’ feeling was nursed by a stick of cigarette. As I sat next to Germaine in her red Alto, I blabbed about the exam and how thirsty and stressed I was. I suddenly felt the appreciation of being employed to the company who took me in ten months ago and I vowed to be a good employee as soon as I resume to work. I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I bothered to open the white piece of paper and read.

Dear Mr./Ms. (My name here):

Thank you for your time in applying here at -------.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been short-listed and you are invited to attend an interview scheduled on January 19, 2010 at 3:30 pm.

Please proceed to the reception area and ask the Front Desk Associate to inform Mr. X of your arrival.

Thank you very much and we wish you all the best in you r career.

Sincerely,

The Recruitment Team

I was dumbfounded. Shocked I believe. There’s probably a mixed up on the exam papers or this is what you call a sheer damn luck. Yeah, it was luck alright.

On January 19, 2010, I will be on the same state of confusion again. There will be a self-debate if I will allow myself to be mentally harassed again because from the beginning of this piece I chose an option and resulted an outcome. I am eager to know what will happen for the next ten years resulting to the biggest decision I will take on Tuesday. Life offers a lot of options and I am always willing to grab one.

Sundays

It’s technically Monday, 12:33 in the morning 11th of January. I had a slight fever from the afternoon activity and the cold medicine that I took ridiculously won’t allow me to sleep. I had the feeling of insomnia comeback and it’s making my recovery a total flop. This is bad. Totally bad. I’m in the middle of ripping my body in so many pieces because I want to do a lot of things at the same time. I can’t actually decide if I will be watching cartoons to help me relax because that’s what sick people do; or do a brainstorming about a new idea that’s brewing on my mind about something that will surprise everyone especially myself if God forbids that I will have the discipline to do it; or do the laundry; or wash the “never-ending-dirty-plates” on the sink; or cook Germaine’s breakfast and baon; or play the “Magic Jewelry” from my Gameboy. You see, I have a lot of things that I wanted to be done right now because time is catching up on me again. I can’t multi-task because again, I’m sick and cloning is definitely not an option. I spend a lot of time deciding on what to do first and I wasted a lot of milliseconds again.

Anyway, I decided to write another crap, I mean blog. I want to tell you about Sunday mornings again. I’m planning on buying a cheap coffee maker (probably around P500) because Sunday morning is not a Sunday morning without an aromatic coffee on your favorite cup. (and every coffee addicts know that). The over easy eggs and toast are delightful or if you wanted something heavy, vigan longganisa and danggit (from Germaine’s sister) are delectable and it goes well with garlic rice, tomatoes and sukang Ilocano. Well, apparently, Coffee alone is the main thing on my Sunday morning and I really love it to be associated with fine music. I remember choosing bossa nova for the past three years and this morning was a turnaround. I choose something light and easy. So here’s my playlist that I want to share with you.

• Laughter in the rain by Neil Sedaka
• Reunited by Peaches and Herbs
• Your in love by Wilson Philips
• Night bird BY Kalapana
• More today than yesterday by Spiral Staircase
• Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
• Happy Together by Turtles
• You Are The Sunshine Of My Life by Stevie Wonder
• Whenever I see Your Smiling Face by James Taylor
• I’m Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves
• Here Comes The Sun by Beatles
• Reminiscing by Little River Band
• My Girl by The Temptations
• Summer Breeze BY Seals and Crofts
• Easy by Lionel Richie
• Happy by Alexia
• I Love Your Smile by Shanice
• Lovely Day by Bill Withers
• Ocean Dry by Lighthouse Family
• Ain’t It Over Til It’s Over by Lenny Kravitz
• Fallen by Lauren woods
• The Most Beautiful Girl In The World by Prince
• I’m Yours by Jason Mraz
• Cold Summer Nights by Francis M.
• Girl Be Mine by Franceis M.
• Just To See Her by Smokey Robinson
• I Love You So by Natalie
• Human Nature by Michael Jackson

Grab On To This

Something I received through MMS..

"There are times that we just have to put a period on something that has to end and not just settle on a comma because time will come, we'll realize that it's nicer to see a complete sentence rather than seeing a phrase that's completely hanging and doesn't even make any sense."

The Traveler

Ten years ago I was wondering what I would become by 2010. There’s this fancy thought that I would become a manager in a prestigious company, a job which could support me in paying my bills. I have some thinking that I’ll be driving the same car because god, I do love my car. I have this illusion living in a nice classy condo with a partner who is a doctor or a lawyer probably. It would be lovely to think that I have a savings account and that I could really save some money, you know. I envision myself that I already went to different places like Disneyland and Nickelodeon Studio in Florida. I was hoping that by that time, I am providing bountifully with my mother and three siblings. I have a good dream you see, like everyone else, I am so hungry with each figment of imagination that I try to at least make it as doable as possible. I don’t want it to be something you can’t grasp at, like a traveler in a desert hallucinating for some water. I am a traveler who prays for an oasis and not for a drop of rain.

Now is the tenth year of that delusion and economy and my laziness haven’t changed. Everybody knows that you don’t have to rely on dreams alone. The majestic mirage on the desert hopefully comes to an end because the traveler didn’t move much. The traveler by this year was inching her way to death. Funny, if you could only see me shaking my head at those wasted time and opportunities. This year, I intend to help the traveler reach her destiny. She might take a different route and might create a different outcome but I won’t let her die. I believe in salvation and I believe in a concept of not giving up. She may not see the oasis by the end of this year but at least she had an initiative to move again to find water somewhere in any form, to humbly accept a jar of water to some travelers she finds on her ways, enough water to make her survive, to give her strength to find her back to the oasis and fill all her jar to support her to another voyage.

Goodbye to 2009

I was absent for the week. Not because I like to have a holiday vacation but merely because of health reasons. Bad trip,

So what consumed me?

• Writing this crap.
• Twilight book series which made me to conclude that Bella Swan is a professional harlot.






• Cold Case Season 6 DVD marathon which is not as good as the previous seasons.

• CSI Las Vegas Season 10 DVD marathon afterwhich I found Cold Case better.


• Boston Legal DVD marathon which confirmed my belief that lawyers are really liars and this cause one of the injustices in the world.



• Johnny Depp DVD marathon on whom I really have a big crush on.


• Quality time with Ivory Vinasoy.

• Quality time with my family.

• Quality time with Germaine and Mio.



• Cleaning the house.
• Cooking.
• Sleeping, on time.
• Eating, each time tipong chicklet na lang ang pahinga.
• Taking pictures.
• Dirty mouthing and I can even fabricate dirty fairy tale stories which Mio and Germaine love. I bet Ivory will love it too! Germaine even told me that I am developing a Tourrete’s Syndrome, yeah!

Anyway, I want to have my own cheers and jeers for the year 2009 and here it is:

CHEERS:

• For the first time in my life, I received a business letter that states that I am a regular employee. I have the chance to enjoy the company privileges at last!
• My father bought me a Nikon camera.

• I still have my bestfriend Ivory Vinasoy.
• Good relationship with my family, both sides.
• I survive another year with my girlfriend Germaine, which is hard.
• I still eat three times a day and sometimes more. (I think gluttony should be categorized as jeers…)
• Proxy really works!
• I got a copy of Wonder Years DVD series at eBay with the help of Joanna.

• Made a lot of friends.
• The birth of the first Philippine LGBT radio which is Rainbow Radio by the Rainbow Rights Project.

(logo by Maica)

JEERS:

Jeers last year are actually a smashing death list.

• Death of travel. The Hongkong Disneyland tour was a great flop.
• Death of hope for buying a laptop.
• Death of hope for cable and internet connection.
• Death of Pinoy Master Rapper Francis M which made me realize I need a cable TV.
• Death of the King of Pop Michael Jackson which made me buy his concerts on DVD and his collector’s item-In Memoriam front page magazines and downloading his songs on my cellphone.
• Death of actress Farah Fawcett na tipong wala lang.
• Death of Cory Aquino which caused heavy traffic.
• Death of the Bears.
• Death of the Team Marcial.
• Death of Brittany Murphy and it made me think that I need to get a non-voice account job.
• Death of the Ondoy victims.
• Death of the people who were brutally massacre in Maguindanao.
• Death of anti-human trafficking advocate, Finardo Cabilao. He was the former social welfare attache to Malaysia who was brutally murdered.
• Death of my vices in which are very essential to me, really.
• Death of my healthy body.
• Death of my old pictures because the stupid maid threw it away.
• Death of the hope for fighting LGBT anti-discrimination because of the COMELEC issues.
• Death of my liking for Idiotic Mr. Tulfo.
• Death of my hope for being a mother.
• Death of my liking to Alice Sebold’s Lovely Bones book which I’m itching to return to the bookstore.
• Death of the oldest person who lives in our Makati home. I love her so much.
• I remember two weeks before Christmas that our dog Hannah was really sick. She spent four days at the vet which cost P1,300 per night. My 13th month pay as well as my wallet was severely suffering. To make the matter worst, she needs an operation worth P6,500 that made me and my partner broke. You know what? It’s nothing really as long as she keeps on breathing and how hard I prayed to have her home on Christmas Eve, I made chocolates as a fund raising and the day I was about to post it on the internet she died. I don’t want to write about her anymore and I don’t want to read her story because I’m just missing her more.. I feel the twitching in my chest and I feel that I can’t totally move on by always remembering. So I’ll just leave you a picture of her and her story that was posted on Germaine’s blog. It was well written by the way.




So what’s my New Year’s resolution?

NONE. I still want it to be as spontaneous as it was during the past years.